


Walls to Build

by thelandofnothing



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, M/M, and they were ROOMMATES, catelyn is pure asf, gendry looking for his bio mum, why are all the starks gay?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-07-24 17:45:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16180067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelandofnothing/pseuds/thelandofnothing
Summary: When Arya comes back from Braavos to study in Storm's End, she moves in with her brother Jon and his roommate Gendry who seems just as sad and mysterious as her.





	1. i'm telling y'all, it's sabotage

**Author's Note:**

> the idea for this fic came to me one night when I realised what writing does for my own personal mental health.
> 
> i really hope you enjoy this (the title of this fic is taken from Kllo's 2016 song 'Walls to Build') 
> 
> title of this chapter is taken from the Beastie Boy's 1994 hit 'Sabotage'
> 
> comments and feedback would be much appreciated! 
> 
> lots of love
> 
> \- the land of nothing

**Arya - _April_**

 

 

 

 

Arya felt foreign in Dr Forell’s new office in Storm’s End.

In Winterfell, he used to own a deep dark oak table and a view of snow-capped mountains behind his chair so breathtaking that sometimes the best therapy she had with him was describing what she would be doing in the snow. It had been a hard adjusting to Westeros once she had come back from Braavos across the Narrow Sea. She had only been away from Westeros for a few years, but everything felt strange; the language (Arya had a knack for speaking Braavosi and Valyrian now), the people and definitely how they looked at her. Braavos was the place where no one would bat an eye if you were crawling the streets bleeding out your gut, but in Westeros, the people looked at her like she had a problem and it was their right to pity her. She could not blame them, it had something to do with her tendency to drift in and out of conscious or that occasional panic attack that would sneak up without a moment’s notice. It was apparent right after her accident that she could no longer stay so far away from her family, not like any other of her siblings had decided to stay in touch. Sansa and Robb were in opposite ends of King’s Landing, Bran was at Greywater Watch with the Reeds and Rickon was the Gods know where. Robb had called it the ‘Stark Family Curse’ because everyone had problems; with Sansa’s poor choice of men, Bran and his car crash that left him paralysed from the waist down, Rickon who kept running away from home and apparently had a juvenile alcohol addiction and Robb’s only coping mechanism to get through being a lawyer was to pop a few pills for breakfast. It did not help that their mother was on a mission to bring them all together again, even more so when their father got sick. Now that was the breaking point.

If she was going to be honest, Dr Syrio Forell was the best man in the entire world for Arya right now. Not only did he offer therapy that worked, he never made her feel like there was something wrong with her. He always gave her hope that she could fit right back into society despite the so-called family curse. Forell was a humorous Braavosi guy who got his PhD in psychology in a dodgy school while he was travelling in the Summer Isles. It was an almost laughable commodity that he was better than all the therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists she had ever been to, and there had been a lot. He was never the “how are you feeling today Arya Stark?” type, he was the “Let’s strike the sword at one problem at a time” and she loved it.

But right now, Catelyn Stark was more concerned about whether or not it was an intelligent and logical choice to continue her degree which made Arya boil with anger and understand Bran’s condition a little more than she would have liked.

_They act like my brain died not my legs._

It hadn’t, she was still able to think quite profoundly.

She stared at the clock on the blank office wall and held her breath; watching as the hands ticked unceremoniously each second. Five more gruelling minutes and she would be out of this hellhole and into her new university where no one knew her face. It was a big downgrade from her initial scholarship to the House of Black and White which Jon had called a cult from day one. The House was a competitive private institution that honed students’ advanced academic and athletic abilities. Getting in was damn near impossible but scoring the scholarship was the peak of Arya’s education.

Her breath hitched as the memories poured painfully into her field of vision like melted gold and she focused on the clock more intently, using the breathing techniques that Forel had advised would keep her anxiety in check.

_Not today._

She replaced the thoughts with the Beastie Boys because she and Jon had always rocked out to ‘Sabotage’ when everything else was turning to shit.

“Hey! Eyes on me cariño!” Syrio clicked his fingers and her attention was brought back to his mess of curly dark hair and tanned skin.

Her mother gave her an anxious look before returning to the conversation that Arya had completely phased out of.

“Are we completely sure that Storm’s End is an appropriate choice?”

“Well you rather her go to King’s Landing? The biggest city in Westeros with a notable competitive and stressful environment in the universities. I don’t think so Señora Stark, Storm´s End is still a prestigious college. Arya still needs to be academically challenged.”

She thanked the Gods for Forell.

He had managed to convince her wreck of a mother in and out of so many precise details regarding her movement to the Stormlands. Initially, anything martial arts related had Catelyn fighting tooth and nail in her usual stubborn Tully manner but Forell somehow coaxed her into the understanding she really needed to continue a sport that she enjoyed and kickboxing at a local gym became their mutual ground. However, the one thing her mother had surprisingly agreed on was where she would stay; at Jon’s. She remembered how Jon was treated when he was still living in the house and to say it was hell was an understatement. But after everything started going downhill, Jon had immediately stepped in and after a while Catelyn had warmed up to him and then fully accepted him part of the family. Arya recalled hearing one of their discussions in the living room during winter break where she had told him, “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother to you,” and Jon always being the forgiving type had just given a look of relief and let himself drown in one of her hugs. Soon her father had told the truth about Jon’s real parentage; that he was actually the son of his late sister who died giving birth to him while she was still a teenager and the boyfriend she had apparently run off with was a _Targaryen_. Ned still acknowledged Jon as his son and so did Catelyn even after being so confused having a new nephew. But now she still referred to Ned as both their fathers, not really needing to clarify.

Jon had gone to Storm’s End for his post graduate degree after their father had talked him out of joining the military at the Wall where communication and nearly all other things were as bleak as the landscape. Jon was an Engineering student with only one year to go until he graduated, and he lived off campus only five minutes away. Her mother had largely approved of the set-up as Arya would be close to family at all times. Jon shared his place with another Engineering student who was his best friend and her father had not been too thrilled at the prospect of her living with a non-family member. But when Jon whispered some things that Arya was not supposed to hear, his worry lines faded away and he resumed his support for the idea alongside her mother. Arya knew she was stepping into new territory, sharing a place with someone she knew very little about. But her conclusion on the matter was that if he was best friends with her favourite brother, he must be alright.

“And I guess if you don’t have any more questions we can finish up.” Forell clapped his hands and her mother jolted in her seat, unused to his flamboyant hand gestures.

“Arya? All well honey?” her mother asked, and she nodded her head.

“Do you think I could look around the campus by myself?”

Catelyn’s face scrunched up in immediate dislike of her request but after few moments the tension in her shoulders forcibly dissipated and she sighed.

“Make sure you’ve got your phone on you and pick up some of those brochures for clubs you want to join.”

“I think I might pass on clubs.” Arya grimaced.

“Your mother’s point is valid chica, joining a club wouldn’t hurt.”

“I want to get settled in first, see if I like it and all.” She added, shrugging her shoulders like she was considering her mother’s idea, “Mum, I’ll meet you at that café on Elenei Street.”

“Okay dear.”

And she was off out the door, eager to cleanse her lungs with the fresh air of the Stormlands that always held a bit of salt at its edge.

_Fear cuts deeper than swords._

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The Science Department was easily the campus’ biggest faculty and was dominated by a three-story shiny new building that stood rival to the Engineering one at the other end. Overall, the campus itself was beautiful and the people so far had not minded a lone girl walking around, even stopping and asking her if she wanted to know about any of the different faculties. Just to please Catelyn she picked up a few pamphlets on self-defence clubs and one flyer for the gym she was thinking of starting at. She wandered around a bit more, walking outside the library when she heard a loud commotion between two people.

“You seriously can’t keep calling me gay because I bake.”

“Fucking watch me Pie, this is why you’re not getting the girls.”

“Oh, because you’re _so_ into girls?”

“Shut up, don’t say that so loud.”

“Well even more so, I have never had a girl tell me that she thinks baking is gay”

Arya snorted a little too loud and it caught the attention of both of the guys.

“What are you looking at?” the bigger looking boy who the other guy had called ‘Pie’ asked.

“Nothing, just thought that your hypothesis was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” She answered, digging her hands into her pockets.

“See!”

“Well you won’t change my mind, baking is gay. Full stop.” The skinny one concurred.

“Are you using gay as an insult? Because baking is awesome.” She retaliated and ‘Pie’ grinned at her.

“Who the hell are you and can you be my new friend?”

“Arya. I’m new, I just transferred from…” she took a deep breath, “From Braavos.”

“Arya, that’s a cool name! Can I call you Arry?”

“If you want.”

“I’m Hot Pie by the way. Don’t ask, that’s just what my ma called me and this one sulking in the back is Lommy.” He pointed a thumb back at the lanky guy who was watching her with a wary eye.

“Cool,” Arya nodded, “So, Hot Pie what do you bake?”

Lommy groaned and shook his head, “Don’t get him fucking started.”

“Cherry pies, lemon pies, strawberry pies, apricot pies. Basically, a lot of pies but I make good cupcakes and different slices.” He answered, giving his friend a punch in the shoulder.

“Yeah, his weed brownies are to die for.” Lommy smirked and Hot Pie looked around quickly.

“Now that is something to not say loudly, on _campus._ ”

“Got to use your hobbies for something useful.” 

Arya snorted again.

 “What are you studying?” Hot Pie asked her.

“3rd Year Health and Medical Sciences.”

“Woah dude, that’s impressive. Pie’s doing Fine Arts and I’m 3rd year Science Major.” Lommy answered, getting friendlier by the passing second, “Hey, we were going round to the pub later, do you wanna swing by? You’re a newbie and all, don’t need you feeling left out.”

“I would love to, but I got to meet my brother tonight, I’m living with him…”

“Your brother wouldn’t be Jon Snow, right?” Lommy asked timidly.

“Yeah that one.”

“That means you lived with Theon Greyjoy!”  

“Didn’t he used to go here?

“Ah yes. Theon Greyjoy and the 3am naked run, who could forget that.” Lommy sighed, shaking his head laughing.

“Obviously he didn’t remember a second of it. He’s at Pyke now, probably for the best.” Arya laughed, and Hot Pie guffawed.

“Theon made my year, shit never happened before he hosted parties.” He distributed his weight on his feet and raised his eyebrow, “But Jon Snow used to be a bit of a party animal under that studious demeanour.” added, winking.

“Please? _Studious?_ We’re talking about the same Jon, right?”

“I mean he’s an Engineering student, so I thought…” Hot Pie scratched his head.

“You think those guys do any work? They basically just fuck around at Eng Night.” Lommy corrected him.

“Pretty damn accurate, Jon is the most pathetic lightweight I’ve ever met.”

“Ayyyee, easy mate. That’s your brother.” Lommy teased.

“Even better reason to shit on him.”

“Well yeah Snow and Waters were both party animals until 3rd year and then they actually had to stick their heads down.”

 “Yeah remember when Waters actually fucked girls. Now he just goes to bars and drinks scotch on the rocks alone like some old guy.” Lommy scoffed.

“Waters...?” she asked, confused.

“Gendry Waters? Jon’s roommate?” Hot Pie clarified.

“I haven’t met him yet.”

 “Oh good fucking luck, you’re going to need it.” Lommy said, whistling.

“What’s so bad about him?”

“He’s a complete hard ass.”

“And how do you know that?” Arya scoffed herself amused, putting her hands on her hips.

“He was my TA in chemistry last semester and honestly the guy never smiled. He’s the grumpiest mother fucker I’ve ever met.” Lommy looked around like the man was behind him, “But he’s fit as hell and I’m hoping to the Seven he’s…”

“What so you can snag him?” she teased, and he went beet red, “What? You kept going on about gays, so I assumed you were yourself.”

“Keep your voice down dude, don’t need everyone knowing. And I’m bi.” He elucidated.

“Oh, small world, so am I.” she replied happily, and he stared wide-eyed at her.

“Teach me your ways oh so confident suave bisexual Arya Stark.” Hot Pie mocked, and she fell into a fit of laughter.

“Oh, don’t worry I’m a wreck under all this.”

“Preach sister.”

“So well, if you’re not coming out to beers tonight, maybe we could all catch up one night. I mean, you’re new and all, we know a good place that doesn’t get crowded most nights, cheap beer and usually a decent band playing Fridays.” Hot Pie said excitedly.

“Cool, maybe I’ll see you Friday then.” She concluded, pulling out her phone and opening her phone contacts to allow the guys to put their numbers in.

“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll pray for you having to live with Mr Hostile Abs.” Lommy teased.

“I’m sure he’s not that grumpy.”

“I wouldn’t try your luck.” Hot Pie shook his head.

“Rest in pieces.” Lommy sighed.

“Well if he and my brother are friends, surely he has one sociable bone in his body.”

“Yeah, he might have used it all up on Jonny boy,” Hot Pie jested, “Okay bet! 20 bucks if you can make him smile this week and we see it.”

“Done deal, I’ll charm his pants off.”

“All the way off?” Lommy grinned and Arya groaned.

“Jon would bloody murder me if he caught me doing anything with anyone, especially his roommate.”

“Ah the joy of the overprotective brother.” Hot Pie sighed dramatically.

“You’re an only child you knob.” Lommy kicked his shin.

“So what?! I’ve watched enough chick flicks to know they brothers don’t like their younger sisters doing anything… Racy.”

“Oh my Gods, you did not just say _racy.”_ Arya threw her head back with laughter.

Her phone buzzed with a message from her mum.

“Look guys, I gotta run but it was nice meeting you two idiots. See you round?”

 “Good luck with you know who!” Lommy fake shot himself with a finger gun.

Arya turned around and jogged to the end of campus out to Elenei Street and the cute little coffee shop on the corner, hoping her mother was not having a hysterical fit over green sencha tea.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

By the time Arya had finished filling in Catelyn about how the faculties in the uni were set out, she found them both walking back to Jon’s who was waiting at the gate to his apartment complex, leaning against the door. 

“About time you showed up little sis!” he teased, and she smiled, running up to him and throwing her arms about his frame.

“You smell like weird organic soap.” She said, wrinkling her nose and she could already sense her mother attacking her for being rude.

“Trying to heal the Earth wolf girl.” He replied cheekily, pinching her nose.

“Yeah, yeah. Just please tell me there’s food in this house or I’m going to break someone.” She brushed past him and took his hand forcibly to pull him up the stairs.

“Good to see you Catelyn.” Jon greeted her mother politely and she smiled at him.

“Good to see you too sweetheart.”

They climbed the stairs in silence until they reached the second floor and Jon pulled out his keys, allowing them in before he entered.

“I made pasta tonight just because you two were coming tonight and my roommate was out. Arya just don’t get sauce over everything in the house and eat with your mouth closed, not everyone can put up with it.” Jon teased her, and she stuck her finger up at him.

“Why did I agree to have her live here?” he turned to her mother who was shaking her head trying to suppress a particularly large grin.

“Because you love me big bro! And I’m your favourite!” she mocked.

Arya looked at around at Jon’s humble abode which seemed perfectly sized for two similarly aged twenty-five-year-old men and possibly more room for a twenty-year-old 4-foot 11 girl. All she could see for now was the living room that only held a medium sized television, a coffee table covered in Engineering textbooks and the comfiest looking couch she had ever seen plus the kitchen with a relatively tiny dining table. To the side of the living space there were doors to what she assumed were the bedrooms.

Jon was bringing food to the table where Catelyn was already seated, and she took that as her cue to sit behind the generous helping of carbonara tortellini that Jon had laid on a decent looking placemat.

“Are there two bathrooms?” she heard her mother ask while Arya looked around the small townhouse, memorising all the little details from the books in the by the back wall to the one picture frame she could see in the distance most likely of her and Jon. She remembered seeing it in the background when she Skype called him.

“No there’s only one but Arya is used to sharing, right?”

“I shared a bathroom with Sansa Stark for _eighteen_ years. You can never complain about sharing space in my presence.”

“Please, I shared a house with all five of you boys and you two bickering girls. Your father and I deserve medals of valour.” Catelyn snorted.

“How is Rickon by the way?” Jon asked too quickly, and the energy stilled in the room.

“Jon, not now please...”

“No, he has to know,” her mother cut in strongly, “We’ve been keeping an eye on him and so has the programme.”

“He hates the programme.” Arya murmured, “Gods even I hate that programme, no wonder he gets so angry…”

“He’s been getting angry?” Jon inquired quietly.

Catelyn looked down at her steaming food.

“He gets… Frustrated…”

“Mum don’t sugar coat it! He gets angry about the smallest things and then he blames all of us for shit we can’t control! Like the other day he was going on about how it was Sansa’s fault she got into that dilemma with Joffrey and then Ramsey. Like she just chose to be with abusive men!” Arya shouted, standing up, “Look I know it’s the withdrawal from the alcohol talking but he can be such a prick sometimes and then we have to stop him from smashing stuff.”

“We’ve been thinking of the possibility of boarding school.”

“Oh, Gods no Catelyn, that’s going to break him,” Jon shook his head, placing three wine glasses and a bottle of red on the table, “I agree with Arya, it’s the fact he can’t have what he’s addicted to, but we have to be there for him.”

“He doesn’t want to go to school… He just doesn’t want to do anything we say.” Her mother leaned her face into her hand.

“We just gotta keep trying and eventually he’ll calm down.”

Arya snorted, “This is Rickon we’re talking about.”

“He’s going to get better Arya.” Insisted Jon.

“I don’t know why we have to talk about all this.”

“Because there’s no other time to.” Catelyn sighed, pouring herself a drink, “Jon darling, this is lovely.”

“Thanks, glad you like it.”

“Yeah Jon, what you lack in the brain department you make up for in the kitchen.” Arya stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re too kind Arya Stark. What would I do without your endless love and devotion?”

“You’d be dead.” She replied bluntly, and her mother gave her a dirty look.

“So, your father told me you were in contact with Robb.”

“I called him, he picked up. He cried a bit. It’s not… It’s not going great for him right now, so he just said he needs a little more time.” Jon replied.

He sighed and rubbed his temple. Arya understood his predicament with Robb, they had been so close living in Winterfell. Seeing his brother so helpless and a victim to something horrific like the pills had Jon on edge.

“He hung up on me a few times accidentally because his hands were shaking so much. Jeyne is there though, he said that he feels like he’ll get better if she stays.”

“If she stays.” Catelyn bit her lip.

“It’s hard but I don’t think she wants to leave him.” Jon mustered the courage to spit out the sentence.

“And what about Theon, surely those two haven’t divested their feelings.

“Mum, Jon doesn’t know that so why are you asking.”

“He may have told him.”

“Sorry Catelyn, he didn’t really mention it.”

Her mother huffed. She knew that she didn’t really condone Robb’s cheating while he was still with Jeyne Westerling but now he was too broken to care.

“And Sansa?” Arya asked concerned, distracting herself from her brother’s problems.

She may had fought with her sister to near death when they were growing up, but she loved and respected the strength Sansa had found after not only one but two abusive relationships.

“She’s going well, she’s going back to law school,” Jon state thoughtfully, “She also called and said she’s in a pretty happy relationship.”

“Let me guess; Margaery Tyrell.” Arya grinned back.

_I knew that girl was never fully straight._

“Didn’t she and Robb date for a bit in high school?” her mother asked with a laugh.

One thing Arya admired about her mother was that she never batted an eye to her children’s sexuality. So far, Robb, Sansa, Bran and she had all come out and the only thing Catelyn did in response was throw a pride party with a fabulous supply of rainbow streamers littered around the house and wave her little pom poms.

“Okay, so what about Bran?” Jon asked.

“Bran doesn’t get much reception in the Neck, but he emailed me that he was so bored he did a back-titration calculation with Jojen for fun while they holed up for summer camp. Howland is being ruthless.” Arya smiled, rolling her eyes at the memory of the message she received one uneventful day.

“Good, that boy hardly ever saw the sun while he was at home.” Catelyn laughed.

“I’m glad, Bran always made an excuse to get out of anything summer camp related.” Jon snorted.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Arya shovelled more food into her mouth, “Two words, _Jojen Reed_.”

“At least let me forget for a moment how everyone is in glorious loving relationships and I am here on my underpaid ass.” Jon chuckled, and Catelyn waved her fork at him.

“I bet lots of girls are into you darling! Maybe once your degree is over and you specialise, there’ll be more time.”

“Yeah all the girls want Jon Snow and his organic soap.” Arya sniggered, and he mocked her laugh.

“Because that’s going well for you too Arya.”

“Please I’d rather triple backflip off one of those cliffs by the shore than end up with someone.”

“You say that now and then some attractive girl or man with blue eyes will somehow manage to wrangle you,” Her mother told her, swigging enough wine that Arya could say she was proud of her, “Anyway, we’ve been blabbering on about people who aren’t here, and we haven’t seen you in months. What’s been happening?”

He leaned back and took a deep breath, “Work and school, that’s pretty much all we do around here.”

“You and your roommate?” Arya clarified.

“Yeah, Gendry. He’s a nice guy, works too much and too hard. He’s also a bit rough around the edges but deep down he’s kind, maybe too kind for his own good.”

“I heard about him from some people I met on campus, he seems like a gruff bastard to me.” Arya quipped in, clearing her plate.

“Arya!” her mother chided with an angry expression.

“Nah, he appears that way to people who don’t know him too well… Which is basically everyone but me because I live with the man. But seriously Arya, give it to you to already make some friends.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell me that.” Her mother smiled at her.

“Yeah well it’s not anything serious, might just be going to the pub with them Friday.”

“Well, that’s our pub night too so looks like you’ll have to introduce us.” Jon winked at her from across the table, “Now I’m going to do the dishes and you guys feel free to get sorted, I already put your bags there. Catelyn you mind sleeping in Arya’s room for now? Mine’s a mess and I feel like she deserves the experience to brave it.”

“You’re too kind but where will you sleep?”

“The couch, it’s damn comfy and it ain’t too cold so I’ll be alright. Might kick Arya out if it gets too nippy though.”

“You try and wake me up, I will stop you breathing.”

“Okay my little murderous sister.” He grinned at her.

“Well, your father is picking me up early tomorrow, so I better get to bed. You two have a chat.”

Catelyn got up and walked to where Jon’s room was alight.

“It’s good to see you both.” Jon said sorting the plates and pots into the dishwasher.

“You’re stressed, you probably shouldn’t have added babysitting me on your list of things to do.” She replied too coldly for her liking.

“Arya, I’m definitely not babysitting you, you’re a grown woman and I trust that you want that freedom of someone not jumping down your throat at every turn. I’m going to love having you here, to be honest it’ll be a form of stress relief.”

“Sure.” She snorted.

“Yeah, I’m really pushing it there with that one.” He grinned, drying his hands with a towel while she went and put the dishwasher on.

“So, is this Gendry guy really what you say he is?”

“Why so curious?” he teased her, ruffling her hair, “Arya you’re going to like him. He’s easy, unlike someone I know.”

“HEY!”

“But I love you!”

“What do you mean, I’m going to like him?”

“Seems like someone you would get along with,” he stared at the clock, “Actually now that I think about it, if you get along frighteningly well, I’m going to have to put a foot in.”

“JON!”

“Alright, alright!”

“You know someone called him ‘Mr Hostile Abs’, right?”

Jon nearly howled with laughter, a split second late after he realised her mother had gone to bed.

“I’m so going to tell him that and he’s going to piss himself laughing.”

Arya grinned.

 _Damn this is going to be an easy 20 bucks_.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Just as she was getting ready to venture into the jungle that Jon called a room, she heard the front door open and the close lightly. Arya checked the time on her phone and while she nearly blinded herself, it was 2am.

 _“How can someone work that late?”_ she thought as she heard Jon and who she assumed was ‘Gendry’ talking about something in soft voices.

For once she didn’t want to pry, more so because she had her first class tomorrow and she actually needed to sleep. But she was ever so curious what ‘Mr Hostile Abs’ looked like and if he was good looking enough to send Lommy in a fever.

 _I wonder if he likes 90’s grunge music like Jon and I,_ she thought again.

Well if he didn’t, he would just have to put up with it.

She passed the corridor to her room where she could hear her mother’s soft breathing from inside the door and then another room which was slightly ajar. It was not Jon’s so it had to be Gendry because even in the dark she could see that it was neater than her brother could ever make his possible. She groaned a little internally and trudged to his room, using the light on her phone to avoid the obstructions at every step. Shoes, crumpled suits, sweatpants, more textbooks, chargers and even more junk littered his floor like he was living in a goddamn cave. Suddenly, the one time she looked up to climb into bed was the moment she stubbed her toe on a wooden box that jutted out from underneath the bed.

“Mother fucker!” she yelped, climbing into bed and massaging her swollen pinky with her face scrunched up.

_I am never sleeping in this room again._

She curled under the covers that smelt like Jon despite his weird soap and closed her eyes, willing to drift off into slumber.

And surprisingly, sleep came for her that night.


	2. your eyes, they haunt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gendry meets arya and they have a deep conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the lovely support on this fic! it was very heartwarming to see all the lovely praise and kudos, you guys rock! 
> 
> the chapter title is taken from a line in Radiohead's 2007 song "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi (one of my favourite songs in existence) 
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

**Gendry - _April_**

 

 

 

Gendry got in at 2am that morning, body exhausted from hours of work in the garage and it did not make it better that he had an 8:30 am class that same morning. Jon was still in the kitchen, drying wine glasses and wiping down the dining table they never used.

“Big day?” he asked him, and Gendry’s head shot up.

“Yeah well, a bastard needs to get paid.” He chuckled, tossing his boots to the side and moving to  unbutton his flannel that was drenched in car oil.

Jon smiled and put the last glass away.

“There’s some leftover pasta in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“You cooked?” Gendry guffawed.

“Arya and Catelyn are both here. They’re probably asleep now.” He motioned to the stairs.

 _Shit, I forgot about his little sister,_ he thought, nodding his head just to look like he remembered.

“Sure, and Arya’s the little one that threatens to stab everyone right?”

Jon rolled his eyes, “Yeah, careful mate that’s my favourite sister you’re talking about. She’s got a mean roundhouse in those few inches of her.”

He pictured a girl half his size trying to kick him.

“So your step mum’s alright with Arya staying in the same house with two bastards?” he joked, pouring himself a glass of water, “Not worried we might corrupt her?”

“Come on mate, she’s not that bad. Maybe a little stuck up but she genuinely cares about me now. And she was fine with you when you met her. So was dad…”

“Your dad’s been emailing me things about Robert again.” he stated, going quiet.

Jon called it distancing but Gendry thought that having quiet anger was much better than exploding at every turn like Robert Baratheon notably did.

“Look I told him not to, but he’s got a lot of time on his hands and he thinks he’s doing you a favour.”

Gendry snorted and downed the glass in one great gulp, “A _favour_ my ass, why would I want to be in touch with someone who didn’t even know I existed until last year.”

“Bastard logic is only understood by other bastards,” Jon pointed his finger at him, “And Arya, she’s the only person I’ve ever met that doesn’t give a shit about status.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“You’d be surprised, she’s about as stubborn as you.” Jon winked.

“Stop winking, you look like an idiot.”

“If it’s annoying I’m never going to stop it.”

“That’s cruel.”

Jon shrugged his shoulders, “Life’s a bitch.”

Suddenly he heard a loud crash and then an even louder curse of what was distinctly, “ _mother fucker”_ came from Jon’s room. Gendry raised an eyebrow and looked back at his friend who was giggling evilly.

“Did I mention she swears like no other?”

“You left your guitar case out so she would trip on it, didn’t you?”

Jon nodded, while trying to supress his laugher.

“She’ll probably want to strangle you.”

“Well, she’s got the blood lust of about ten great warriors packed in her 4-foot 11ness so you’re probably right.”

“ _4, 11ness?_ I thank the Gods you are not an English major Jon Snow.”

“Ah well, another career path down the drain. So much for the emotional support Waters, you’re meant to be my friend.”

He snorted.

Jon hummed and then his face screwed up as if he was just remembering something particularly funny.

“You look constipated.” He told his friend.

In his effort to stifle his laughter, Snow just wheezed, his body shaking.

“Arya… Made some friends today… And one of them called you… _Mr Hostile Abs.”_

“And that’s funny because?”

“Mr Hostile Abs?” Jon cackling all but with sound, “It’s the most hilarious and _accurate_ description of you.”

“Oh, piss off.”

“Well, it’s not wrong!”

Gendry just flipped him off and walked to his own room, leaving Jon to his own devices.

_Great now Arya Stark thinks I’m some college jackass._

“Hey man, there’s something I need to let you know.”

 Gendry whipped around to see Jon staring out the window pensively, fidgeting.

“What’s up?”

He took a deep breath and kept his eye contact averted.

“It’s about Arya…” Jon bowed his head but kept talking, “Look, the last five years has been anything but easy for my family and I know I’ve told you about Robb and Sansa, Bran’s a given because he’s in the chair and Rickon I only found out about today…”

“I understand Jon.”

“No, you don’t because Arya will look fine but she’s really the most broken out of all of them. That’s what sucks. She’s always been good at hiding everything under a mask. She grew up in Sansa’s shadow and I don’t know… Maybe she just thought that she was never a priority, we had a big family.”

But Gendry did understand to a degree, it wasn’t like he had a chance to express his feelings whenever he wanted while he was a child and he couldn’t relate to having a big family but he knew what it was like to not feel like the priority.

 “Well, you better get to bed young man. You have class tomorrow morning.” Jon used his posh accent to annoy him almost immediately.

Gendry groaned and shut the door.

“You were doing so well.”

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gendry walked out the lecture with his head reeling.

Usually he was always attentive and copying down the presentations word for word but somehow, he managed to sleep through the whole thing right in front of the professor. Luckily, the older man heard out his excuse of a late night working and just told him to sleep before coming to class next time, but Gendry was met a flashback of his past that he did not want to revisit; 21 years old with a knack for cheap spirits and girls whose names he didn’t remember in the morning. It was a toxic cycle that he let himself into and he thanked the Gods he didn’t continue.

He went out to campus and bought a coffee, pissed that he needed one because his body refused to cooperate and sleep last night.

_I need to be nice, I’m meeting Jon’s sister for the first time._

He went home and changed into gym clothes quickly without checking if anyone was there. He called out a few times and no one replied so he grabbed his keys, gym bag and earphones, running out the door to the gym. It was great when he had a day off from work for there was no need to rush home from school and to get dressed only having a couple seconds to breathe until he had to run out again and spend another five hours at the garage. Lifting some weights or running the treadmill always cleared his mind and the gym was always empty at this time because everyone usually worked during the day. When he arrived, he could only see some people milling about he identified as students and some of those non-working mums he could never get his head around. He set off to a quiet corner and stretched his aching muscles which he could tell yearned for some of that physical burn one got from a satisfying workout. Once he was done stretching he moved to the treadmill where he found himself running at a moderate jog. He loved that feeling in his calves as he spurned on faster, increasing the speed until his legs pounded beneath him in a pace that left his heart beating wildly. He was caught up in his high to notice there was a girl running on the far end too much faster than he thought her legs could carry her. She seemed to be miniature sporting tight compression leggings and a blue sleeveless fitness tank top. Her brown hair was tied up in a messy ponytail hoisted on the back of her head and a pair of massive cordless earphones nearly concealed her entire side profile. She was sweating profusely, probably having been at it far longer than Gendry had, and he shook the thoughts out of his head and concentrated on keeping up with a faster speed. If she had noticed him checking her out she didn’t seem to show it even when she slowed down to a fast walk and eventually stopped, huffing and wiping the sweat from her brow.

The first thing he could comment on was that she was _gorgeous_ and not in the stereotypical way. His mates at the garage, Beric, Lem and Thoros wouldn’t get off his back about his lack of female activity. The truth wasn’t that he did not feel like having a relationship, going on dates or even getting laid, it was more due to his lack of interest in any girl he had seen. All the ones that Jon and the lads at the garage had shown him on Tinder or on random photos had him shrugging his shoulders.

She had his back to him now, stretching her hamstrings out and he paid attention to the screen in front lest he fell flat on his face. Something nagged at him that she was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. When she stood up, her eyes met his and she stared at him for a few solid seconds until she looked away, moving to grab her water bottle and drink from it furiously. He moved the machine down to a slower speed and kept at a fast walk with enough breath to make conversation.

 “Haven’t seen you around before.” he called out to her, turning his back to her and pretending to focus on power walking.

He heard her still and he took it as a cue to cut the treadmill and eventually hop off to go grab a drink. When he turned around he was met with a look on her face that nearly had him rolling on the floor laughing.

 “Yeah, so?” she asked, her dark eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

Gendry’s brain fumbled for a response.

_You really didn’t plan that one, did you?_

“I was just asking, trying to be nice and all.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed with her hands on her hips.

“Still, I always come here at this time on this day and I’ve never seen you. Not even on campus.” He countered, taking a swig from his own bottle.

“Fine, I’m new. Happy?” she growled at him and he couldn’t help but chuckle, “Why do you care about some new kid?”

He shrugged his shoulders acting nonchalant.

“Is it a bad thing to care?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t faceplant when you were checking _me_ out.”

He nearly faceplanted in shock when the very words left her mouth and his heart began to race a million miles an hour.

 “Hey, I’m sorry that was an dick move.” He apologised when she moved to throw her duffle bag across her shoulder.

“No shit?”

He took a breath and willed all the courage he didn’t have to rise to surface.

“Am I going to see you around again?”

“If I’m that unlucky.” She responded, not evening stopping to engage in the conversation.

Even though she insulted him, he couldn’t help but grin as she walked out the gym. He went and bench-pressed a few stacks, worked on some core exercises and push ups before cooling down with another run. He was exhausted by the end of it and need to get home, pushing the doors open to be met with the cool autumn breeze that chilled the evenings in the Stormlands.

Once he got home, he was met with Jon in the kitchen cooking stir-fry humming some Radiohead song.

‘You’re looking abnormally chipper.” He called out, shaking the chili powder like the world was ending.

“Might have a reason to be.”

Jon dropped his wooden spoon and grinned almost maliciously.

“Name? Number? Gods Gendry, you can’t just spring something on me like that without the details!”

He chuckled and watched his friend whine a little until he decided it was best to play it safe and tell him.

“Alright, it was some girl at the gym. No, I didn’t get her name, but she probably wants to murder me…”

And just as he was about to say anymore, he looked up and saw her; the exact same girl he was about to describe to his best friend.

His best friend’s sister.

_Oh, I am so fucked._

“Hi Jon.” She said casually, walking into the kitchen.

“Make sure you tell me later,” Jon winked at him, turning his attention to his little sister and Gendry inhaled with relief, “You’ve made yourself at home already.”

“Anything to get mum off my back, I felt like I was going to suffocate,” She groaned, reaching up on her tippy toes to reach a mug, “Why are your things so fucking far up in giant land?”

“Because not everyone’s as short as you baby sister.” Jon teased her, ruffling her hair and she kicked him viciously in the shin.

“Idiot,” she muttered to herself moving to the coffee machine and turning it on, watching Gendry in the corner of her with that knowing glint, “And you must be Gendry. Jon doesn’t shut up about you, so I thought you were some gay lovers for a few years. I’m Arya, but I think you know that by now.”

She mocked bowed and could feel his cheeks heating up.

_She’s going to tell him._

“Arya don’t be a prick.” Jon grumbled.

“What makes you say we aren’t.” Gendry countered, and she looked up at him suddenly.

“Aren’t what?”

“Gay lovers, like you said.”

She looked pensive for a second until she replied,

“Observation.”

“Just observation?” he cocked his head to the side and he knew Jon was looking at the two of them in confusion.

“I think you know what I mean.” She snapped, crossing her arms.

“I don’t, you’re going to have to emphasise.”

“I’m sorry do you know each other?” Jon asked, flabbergasted.

Gendry looked at Arya with a pleading gaze, begging her with his eyes if anything else. She had every right to call him out right in front of her brother.

“Nope, you just witnessed the first meeting. Mark it in your history books ladies and gents.” She replied, turning her attention back to her coffee.

_Thank the fucking Seven._

“Well don’t go threatening to fight him, he’ll probably be able to break you in half.” Jon chuckled, and Arya snorted.

“She looks speedy but brute force may be enough to catch her,” He replied, looking right at her while she sipped at her too hot coffee.

“But I’m fast, you said that yourself.”

“Point taken,” he moved to coffee machine beside her, “But I’m still stronger than you.”

“Strength is not all you need in a fight. You need brains too.”

“Unfortunate I don’t have any isn’t it?” he grinned at her and she was trying (very poorly) to supress a smirk.

“You guys keep getting friendly, I need to make a call.” Jon said eyeing the both of them suspiciously, before turning off the gas and walking out the kitchen.

 Once they both heard the door click shut, Gendry stilled his breathing, feeling her eyes on him as he moved about the kitchen.

“So, you’re Gendry?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“And you’re Arya.” He breathed.

_Jon is going to sic Ghost on me or cut off my balls. Or worse; both._

“Don’t get so flustered about the gym, if you knew who I was we’d probably have been a bit friendlier.”

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t an asshole move, I’m still sorry.”

She grinned and shook her head unbelievably.

“Apology not needed but accepted.”

He sighed in relief.

“And let’s not tell Jon, I don’t need my brother jumping down either of our throats,” she rolled her eyes, “But I’m curious you know? You lived with my brother for so long and you’ve never seen a picture of me?”

Gendry frowned and concentrated on pouring coffee into his cup without it going everywhere.

“He has really old ones on his laptop and he’s still going through his anti-social media phase. You were wearing sunglasses in that recent photo he has of you two.”

“But _you_ could have looked at my accounts if you wanted.”

“Yeah but I didn’t. I don’t use media much either.”

“So, you seriously didn’t recognise me?”

“Nope.”

She chuckled.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she waved her hand around like she was dismissing the idea from her own head, “You’re just a big dork, you know that Gendry Waters?”

“Dork?” he tested the word he’d never been called before out like a parrot.

“Doesn’t everyone think you’re really intimidating and hostile…”

“Didn’t one of your friends call me Mr Hostile Abs?”

She cackled, and Gendry was very quick to realise that Jon and Arya had the same exact laugh; their noses scrunched up and their cheeks went pink.

“Yeah, just a couple of jackasses I met on campus,” she tried to control her breathing while he leaned on the kitchen bench, watching her from the top of his coffee mug, “But you’re not denying it though.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a people person.”

“You seemed quite sociable in the gym.”

“I was making conversation.”

“Sure.”

He sighed and sipped his coffee, hiding the bliss he felt from its bitterness.

“You’re never going to let this go, are you?” he waited for her to bite her lip to stifle a laugh and he went back to scowling, “How can someone so small be such a huge pain in my arse?”

She rolled her eyes and lifted her own mug to her lips.

“So,” she murmured, looking away from him, “Did Jon tell you what happened to my siblings.”

Gendry looked up at her and saw the way her eyes wavered with a sadness he hadn’t seen since he remembered staring in the mirror as a teenager after nearly fucking his entire life up. But her tone was filled with sarcasm, the kind that people used to hide what they really were suffering from.

 “I’ve met Robb,” he started, “Heard about Sansa.”

_I’m treading in dangerous waters._

“Robb’s fucked in the head.” She snorted.

He stilled, not wanting to say anything more while Arya finished the rest of her coffee in silence.

“Why did you meet him?” she demanded and there was fire in her eyes.

He put his cup down and saw her eyes on his, burning a straight line right through his soul.

“He came down to visit Jon…”

“Was this after or before he overdosed?”

“Arya, honestly what the fuck?” her brother growled, walking through the kitchen, “Man, I’m sorry. Did I forget to tell you my sister has no sense of consideration whatsoever?”

‘Why are you defending him?”’ Arya yelled at him and Gendry suddenly felt like he should not be in the middle of the two siblings, “Just because he’s brother, you condone him cheating on his fiancé?”

“Maybe if you didn’t care about yourself so much, you would see the reasons that lead him to do it and understand the kind of shit he’s been through!”

“Don’t you dare put this on me Jon!” she warned in a voice that made both of the boys shudder, “Robb chose the drugs, he chose to take the fucking pills because he’s weak! And I don’t care if he’s working too hard, if you love your family you don’t take fucking drugs!”

“Why don’t you understand that’s it not always that easy Arya?”

She glared at him with murder in her eyes, her teeth clenched so hard that Gendry was positive she was close to shattering them.

“Because you and everyone else will never understand the value of life. Not until it’s ripped from your hands like how the Gods took Bran’s legs.”

She slammed the mug down on the kitchen bench.

“Arya…” Jon began but she was not having it.

“Fuck off Jon.”

And with that, she stalked away from the kitchen and ran to her room, closing her door hard. His friend just burrowed his head into his hands and let out a shuddering breath.

“I’m sorry you had to be the meat in the sandwich Gendry.” He apologised.

“She’s got a point you know?”

“No, not you too. I don’t need a reminder that trying to help my brother is a wrongful act. Do I think he’s a complete asshole for lying about his sexuality to the woman he promised to marry and then cheating on her? Of course, I do. But he’s family and you never give up on family.”

Gendry snorted, thinking about the mother he had that could still be alive and the father he had that was definitely alive. Yet both of them did a miraculous job at giving up on him.

“Arya… She hasn’t been mentally well for a while now and it’s just… Fuck, you know what? When she feels like telling you, she will. But I’m not opening my big fat mouth anymore.”

Jon ran his hands through his overgrown hair and down his face, looking like he was searching for a virtue called patience.

“Can you… Can you just make sure she eats something for dinner? I need to go to work and… Fuck, just tell her I’ll talk to her when I get back. Help yourself to stir-fry too man.”

“Sure.” He agreed, not really knowing how to comfort his friend.

He had never seen his friend like this; stressed and overwhelmed with emotion. He had no doubt that it was to do with the old wound Arya opened about Robb because Jon had done a good job of sweeping it under the carpet and telling everyone it was okay. And that’s where he understood Arya and her logic; she didn’t think it was acceptable to keep playing house like everything was sunshine and rainbows. She may be furious, but Gendry understood the roots of her anger, where it festered in her heart. He did not know anything about her, but he understood her. It was one of his gifts; knowing what it was like to misunderstood in all situations. If Arya was going to live under the same roof as him and Jon maybe it was the Gods way of telling them all that this was the start of the healing process for all three of them; Jon’s inability to accept that his family was falling apart, his own obsession with finding his mother or Arya with her bottled emotions and mysterious background. He knew it had to be bad if Jon could not tell him.

There were a million different scenarios playing around in his head, but he cleared his mind of assumptions and watched Jon leave through the door, the phone to his ear again.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was seven o’clock when Gendry looked up from his phone and watched the light coming from under Arya’s door.

Jon had texted earlier saying that he wasn’t getting in till three that night which made him grit his teeth and pray for his friend when he got home. Arya looked like a mean piece of work even in the short expanse of time he was allowed to meet her and obviously they both held conflicting arguments about their brother. Gendry reheated the stir-fry Jon had made and put it into two bowls, praying to the Seven to give him a little courage to face her because she was still pissed. A 20-year-old girl wouldn’t start screaming along to Beastie Boys in the shower on a daily basis. He sighed and carried the bowls of food to her door, hearing something oddly familiar to Kim Gordon’s voice crooning out of her room. He took a deep breath and rapped the door lightly with his knuckles.

“Fuck off Jon!” she yelled, and he chuckled, hearing the music turn off and the crinkling of a wrapper of some sorts.

“Jon’s at work, I’ve got a peace offering if you’re still mad about the gym.”

She went quiet and few moments later she appeared at the door, wearing a long and baggy band t-shirt that went to her thighs. She eyed the steaming bowls and raised an eyebrow.

“I never said I was angry at _you_.” She huffed.

“Want some stir-fry?” he offered and looked behind her at the room which still held a few boxes, “I was also going to eat on the balcony, you wanna come with?”

She considered him for a moment, looking back to her room when he saw she must have been rolling a few cigarettes.

“Didn’t realised you smoked.”

“Don’t need to let Jon know. It’s stress relief,” she grumbled when he smirked at her, “Fine, I’ll come.”

“Better roll me one then.” He added, and she smiled, going back to her bed to gather her cigarettes.

They walked to the landing and he opened the glass window for her and she climbed through first while he followed behind, trying not to get food everywhere. Once they were seated behind the railing on the pavement, he passed her a bowl of Jon’s stir-fry and sat beside her while he produced a lighter and she put the cigarettes on the concrete beside them.

“Sometimes… I feel so distant from Jon even though my childhood memories with him are so vivid,” she said out of the blue, only the side of her face was illuminated by the lights of the city, “Now, it feels like we’re strangers. I feel like that with everyone I was close to before.”  

Gendry looked at her deeply while she shovelled food into her mouth. She truly was an extremely beautiful girl, but he’d never let that opinion slide from his mouth.

“I think I know what you feel like,” he responded, putting the bowl down and reaching for a cigarette, “It’s like you feel like you know someone, but you don’t. Not truly.”

He could feel her gaze turn on him when he talked, imagining what the cool steel of her eyes would look like under fluorescent lights. He lit his cigarette, blowing a puff of smoke. It was rolled well, she had obviously been doing this under her family’s noses for a longer time than she would probably like to admit. Maybe since high school.

“I told Jon I stopped smoking just to get him off my back.” He admitted, and she went silent, “It’s a bit unfair, the only thing he’s stressed about is school and work. And even then, I wouldn’t call security at the Wall stressful, nothing ever happens except that weird celibacy cult that have going on.”

Arya laughed out loud.

“Please tell me Jon is not part of it.”

“Well I haven’t seen him come home with any girls lately so…”

She cringed with her eyes scrunched shut, probably trying not to laugh at the picture of her brother being in a cult that promoted lack of sexual activity. The thought made him chuckle too and soon he was wishing that he had a bottle of beer to wash down the stir fry which, in all honesty, was a little dry. Asian cuisine had never been Jon’s forte.

But Gendry could go without a drink tonight especially when he could feel Arya Stark’s eyes on him like that. She was stripping all his layers and defences, making him feel raw, susceptible.  

“So, what makes Gendry Waters stressed enough to smoke behind Mother Hen’s back?”

She was an observable creature, he would give her that but the thought of telling her anything too personal seemed out of the question. He barely knew this girl and she did not need to be his therapist in such a short time.

“Work, school…”

“Daddy issues?” she questioned bluntly, and he felt his brows furrowing.

“I’m sorry, am I missing something?” he responded, trying not to get pissed but obviously failing seeing the amusement in her eyes.

He did not need the pity of a girl whose family was old money.

“It’s quite evident in the way you look like Robert Baratheon, yes,” She rolled her eyes, “And everyone knows he’s a complete asshole who has an army of kids he never gave a shit about all around the bloody country. That’s the definition of an ultimate cunt.”

“Please, I don’t look like him that much.” He snorted, hoping to the Gods that he was wrong but by the look Arya was giving him, he fell into doubt again.

“Doesn’t matter if you look like him, I bet you’re ten times better of a man that he would ever dream to be.”

It was a like a flower had bloomed inside his heart and spread its petals throughout his chest. All he felt was warmth and her steady gaze boring into his own eyes.

“That means a lot, you know,” he managed to choke out, rubbing the back of his neck, “You’ve known me for what? A day?”

He watched her shrug her shoulders, “It’s not that hard to not be an asshole.”

“Even with what happened in the gym?” he smirked, and she threw her head back with laughter.

“Even with what happened in the gym, yes. You’re still less of a knob than your father.”

She lifted her own cigarette to her lips and without thinking, he leant over and lit it for her. She raised her eyebrows and took a puff before placing it in between her fingers.

“Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” He snorted and turned back to his own, watching the lights of the city dance across the balcony, “I need to quit soon, but it’s a shit habit to quit.”

He saw her nod her head and look at her cigarette like she was contemplating taking another puff.

“My mum cracked it the first time she found me smoking,” she laughed, “I told her I quit just to make her happy and I did for a while, but it was living hell. Now, it’s my guilty, occasional habit. But you’re right, we both need to quit.”

He chuckled.

“It’s nice up here.” She commented.

“It is, we found a nice spot I reckon.”

She went silent and he watched the embers from her cigarette reflect in the grey of her eyes.

“Don’t be killing your brother when he comes home, he’s probably brooding on a cliff right now because he pissed his favourite person off.”

He could see her rolling her eyes again. She obviously did not want to talk about Jon.  

“I never asked what you do.” She said quietly.

 “I work in Mott’s garage fixing cars. That’s what pays the bills.”

“Seems like you’ve got your life together.”

“To an extent.” He scoffed, taking a puff.

“How’d you meet Jon?” she finally asked.

He had been waiting for that question for a while.

“First day of class, he called it the bastard detector. Could tell that I didn’t have a daddy by just looking at me, I call bullshit but whatever,” He chuckled, and he watched her lips creep up into a smile, “We kinda just stuck together after that, partied a bit too hard in the first years but then we got each other to knuckle down. I owe it to your brother, on multiple occasions.”

“He’s always been good at that.”

“What about you? What’s your story?” he prompted, hoping he was not coming across as too pushy.

“Competitive school in Braavos and some bitch didn’t like me too much, so it was better to go somewhere else. A lot of bad shit happened.” She said distantly.

He was glad he told her that much, he was expecting, ‘it’s none of your business’ or in the fashion that she had addressed her brother, something along the lines of, ‘fuck off’.

“People will do anything to get to the top.” He scoffed, remembering all those rich snotty private school kids who turned their noses down at him in the subway as a teenager.

She hummed in agreement, her eyes turning sad.

As a graduate student, he cared little about what those little punks thought of him. He had his life together, he had a long-term plan for his future, a job, a little money he was saving to go overseas one day.

“Jon told me you went through the foster system, what was that like?” she asked him honestly and he couldn’t detect an inch of judgement in her words.

“Rough,” he admitted, tapping his knee, “First few years were shit but I landed a good family when I was sixteen and stayed till I left when I turned eighteen. I still work for my foster dad.”

“That’s awesome.” She said genuinely, and he felt the walls he usually kept up crumble a little.  

“I think my birth mum is still alive, she sends me birthday cards each year, but she doesn’t sign them off as her. I can tell it’s her though.” He found himself telling her, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you my therapist, I just…”

“It’s alright, I wanna know,” she smiled, turning her body to face him, “So have you started looking for her?”

He nodded but looked down.

“No luck?”

“She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”

She cocked her head.

“Maybe there’s more to her story than that. She sends you the cards, so you’re obviously in her thoughts.”

“For someone so pessimistic, you’re awfully hopeful.” He chuckled, and she frowned.

“I’m a realist and I believe that there’s a possibility you’ll find her.”

He looked at her, really looked at her. Studied the way a spread of freckles dotted her button nose and her dark circles looked like bruises. For the first time in a long time, he felt contempt with letting out his feelings to someone other than Jon. There was only enough shit one person could take before it got borderline annoying. Not like his friend would ever admit that but his roommate wasn’t the one he should have been taking it all out on. But Arya was different. From the way she lacked any judgement about his less fortunate upbringing and the kind words he said about his desperate search for his mother, he knew she was a good person with an even better heart.

 

“You’re a good person Arya Stark.”

She looked up at him in surprise and then smiled.

“You’re not too bad yourself.”


	3. cool kids never have the time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bar, a drunken encounter and a night on the balcony.
> 
> (chapter title from 1979 by the smashing pumpkins)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, i have been sitting on most of this chapter for a month. exams, writers block and life have been getting in the way but i listened to will you listen by nearly oratorio (great emotional song tbh) and edited my ass off.
> 
> enjoy this longer chapter and thank you for the support x

**Arya - _June_**

 

 Arya found that many things were different in the South than they were in Winterfell.

Godsgrief was the kind of bar that just missed out on being classified as a dive because it lacked that extent of trashiness yet the beer stained floors and that tacky dressed bartender with his poor excuse for a shirt were not usually things Arya sought out to spend her Friday night amongst. But with Lommy and Hot Pie laughing about yet another dumb drunken adventure that the two had shared on one eventful night, she ignored the fact the tiny bar smelt like male BO and sexist jokes. An indie band was playing up on the stage with a small crowd dancing wildly in front. They weren’t bad; they kept a good tempo and rhythm that had people bouncing along drunkenly. She had been here nearly every Friday night since she arrived in Storm’s End, nearly four months ago sometimes with Lommy and Hot Pie but also sometimes with Jon, Gendry and his friends from class or his co-workers. Lommy was right about Gendry drinking scotch at the bar like some old glum bastard whose wife just left him. Sometimes he would start conversations with the guys from Engineering or the bartender only because he used to work behind the bar himself but that was it. Arya usually did not bother going up to talk to him in public. He liked to sit alone, and she respected that. The only time she disturbed his peace was to secure that twenty dollars only by making him smile. It hadn’t been too hard; all she had done was tap him on the shoulder and he had turned around and gave her a gorgeous grin, asking her if she needed a ride home.

Gendry was definitely growing on her; they went to the gym and ordered food on Wednesdays because Jon worked which left them stuck in the house together alone. They smoked cigarettes on the balcony occasionally after promising to cut down and sometimes with Jon they got high on the floor of the living room. The three of them would giggle until they were in stiches. She couldn’t recall feeling so lively and relaxed at the same time in her entire life.

“I still don’t understand how you got him to smile.” huffed Lommy, sulking.

“He’s not that bad.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“He doesn’t even smile at his mates.”

They both looked over to Gendry who was now drinking a beer, leaning against the bar talking to a couple of his friends. He seemed casual but not the life of the conversation, still engaging in some kind of social interaction. But Lommy was right, he did not seem to smile, far more interested in his drink than anything else.

“See!”

“So what? Maybe what they’re saying isn’t funny.”

“Whatever, let’s go dance,” he offered, and she shook her head.

“I don’t dance.”

“Later then, when you’re drunk enough.” He winked.

“Not bloody likely.”

She leaned back and paid minimal attention to Hot Pie’s story about yet another cute boy that he saw while working in the bakery, looking around the bar until she could feel Gendry’s eyes on her. But as soon as she would look at him, he would avert his gaze and pretend he was thoroughly enjoying his drink and the silence of his own company.  

Her thoughts were disturbed when a pitcher of beer was placed loudly on the table. She looked up and saw a girl about her own age with messy dark hair in a denim jacket staring her in the eyes.

“You must be Arya,” the girl smiled and let out a hand, “I’m Willow Heddle.”

“Nice to meet you.” Arya said softly, shaking Willow’s hand.

“How did you get acquainted with these two idiots.” She gestured to Lommy and Hot Pie who were chucking pretzels at each other beside her.

“Long story.”

“Understandable.” The girl nodded, raising her hands in defence.

Soon after they all went through a few beers themselves, Arya and Willow had talked for what felt like hours. But she knew it wasn’t just talking.

No, Willow was flirting with her.

And she was flirting back, extremely drunkenly but still flirting.

“Wanna dance?”

Everything was too hazy to say no.

She let Willow grab her hand and drag her to the drunken crowd all chanting along to a mediocre cover of Smells like Teen Spirit.

It was until she felt her lips on hers that she knew things were escalating from just a friendly chat with the rest of their mutual friends.

“Want to go back to mine?” the girl asked breathlessly when they both pulled back for air.

No one had seen them, everyone was too busy dancing to the band, smashed out of their mind.

Arya nodded and collected her purse, standing up shakily.

She turned around and saw Gendry with a beer in hand laughing at something one of his mates said with his head thrown back until he looked up and locked eyes with her. She broke eye-contact and followed Willow out the bar to the street when someone suddenly gripped her wrist and she spun around to meet his blue gaze peering down at her curiously.

“Where you off to?”

“What are you, my mother?” she snapped a little too coldly for her own good, ripping her hand away from his grip.

He laughed, and she realised he had drunk a bit himself because he had that easy smile played on his lips and his cheeks were dusted with blush.

“I’m more worried about Mother Hen grilling my ass about your whereabouts later.”

“You’re drunk.” She observed.

“Funny that, so are you Stark.” he winked at her, finding the whole situation hilarious. 

“What do you want?”

“To know where you’re going.” He responded.

 “I’m going with a friend.” She pointed her thumb at Willow who was eyeing Gendry with her arms crossed over chest.

His face dropped like he had seen a ghost and he audibly gulped, looking back to the door at the bar.

“Right, see you then,” he scratched the back of his neck like a nervous teenager, “Call me if you need anything.”

Arya rolled her eyes and turned around, catching up to Willow who was a little further down the sidewalk than her. Once they had walked a little further away from the pub she turned her head and saw Gendry still standing there as if he was lost.

_Strange._

“What’s his problem?” Willow hissed, obviously annoyed for some reason, “Tell him to piss off if he’s bothering you.”

“He’s my brother’s roommate, he was just wondering where I was going. He’s filling in for the big overprotective brother role because Jon will kick his ass otherwise.”

Willow scoffed, “Well he’s not staring at you like a brother would stare at his sister.”

“What does that mean?” Arya asked confused.

“He probably thinks you’re hot,” she muttered, stressing her bottom lip, “Don’t trust him. He’s an idiot.”

She watched the girl’s profile lit only by the dim street lights while they walked.

“What’d he do?”

 “He used to sleep around heaps.”

_So?_

“My sister was really into him, but he didn’t want a relationship. _Commitment issues_ my fucking ass. Bloody bastard.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Arya said apologetically and followed her up the stairs of the complex.

“It’s not your fault that all guys are assholes,” they reached a door when Willow turned around with a devious smile on her face, “Which is why I’m much more interested in girls.”

As soon as they entered the apartment, Willow pounced on her, pressing her lips hurriedly against hers and Arya felt her body tense up to the sensation she hadn’t felt in a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but she needed to let her know that she wasn’t looking for anything serious.

“I don’t do relationships.” Arya blurted out and Willow laughed out loud.

“I’m not looking for anything serious, I just want a little fun.”

She sighed in relief. At least they were at an equal understanding. She wasn’t the kiss and tell kind of girl; what happened in the past stayed in the past.

She surrendered her neck to Willow’s fiery kisses and let her mind run numb. It was healthy to sometimes just let go and not give a fuck. The girl’s fingers were already reaching to unclasp her bra and all of the sudden Arya could feel all the common sense and self-control from her brain slip.

 She kissed back sloppily and reached for Willow’s top and hoisted it up over her head, immediately unclasping her bra and throwing it across the room. They stumbled into a room and Arya fell backwards onto a bed while Willow climbed over her body and kissed her feverishly.

Everything after that was a daze to her.

She awoke with a start in a foreign bed, still half dressed.

She could make out the rest of her clothes littered on the ground and Willow’s sleeping form next to her. Looking over to the digital alarm clock on the bedside table, the neon numbers read two am and Arya sighed, rubbing her face. She peeled off the sheet and got up to collect her clothes, piece by piece. Once she was fully dressed, she made her way to the door…

“You off?”

Arya whipped around to see Willow leaning up on her elbows.

“I’m sorry…”

“Nah it’s alright, we didn’t do much. You were drunk out of your mind.”

“Thanks…” Arya fumbled over her words, “I probably should go…”

“It’s alright, I don’t like staying the night either,” the girl said, running a hand through her hair, “Stay in touch, there’s only a few good people in this city.

“Sure.”

“Night.”

“Good night Willow.”

Leaving the room, she patted her pockets for her credit card and her phone, still snugly in her jeans while slipping her boots on and tugging her coat around her shoulders. She left the apartment and made her way to the elevator, knowing she’d probably fall down the stairs in her current drunken state. She went through her contacts on her phone; there was Jon who would _murder_ her, Lommy or Hot Pie were not even an option because they couldn’t drive which left one person.

She tapped her nails over her phone screen hesitantly and brought up Gendry’s contact.

She pressed the call button and held her phone up to her ear. He answered almost immediately, and she rolled her eyes.

“Are you still at the bar?” she questioned him, and she could hear laughter.

 “Does m’lady need a ride?” he countered.

“We didn’t drive to the bar idiot.”

He just laughed.

 “I’m coming to get you and we are walking home.” She ordered, limping into the elevator, trying to get her foot properly in her boot.

‘That’s mighty lovely of you Stark,” he slurred, “And I was here drinking myself to near death, thinking you didn’t give a shit about me.”

She froze before she pressed the ground floor button and let the silence fill the lift as the doors shut on their own.

“When the hell did I say anything like that?” she hissed, and he started to tut.

“You didn’t,” he took a deep breath through the microphone of his phone, “But you implied it.”

She punched the button violently and she gradually moved down.

“You’re acting stupid, how much did you drink?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he scoffed, and she heard a door open, “I’m not the one currently doing a walk of shame.”

She ended the call and slammed her fist against the wall of the elevator.

“Fucking shithead.” She muttered to herself, staggering out of the lift and then the building as quickly as she physically could.

She stormed down the street back to the bar and she could already see him outside, leaning against the window smoking a cigarette. She rushed up to him and grabbed it, throwing it to the ground and crushing it under her boot.

“What was that for?” he asked her accusingly, his brows starting to furrow.

“We’re quitting remember?” she reminded him.

He scowled and shrugged his shoulders.

She pushed him on the street.

“Easy there, I can walk,” she let go of him and he tried out a few steps, waddling like a penguin, “On second thoughts…”

She rolled her eyes and wrapped an arm around his waist while he draped one across her shoulders for support as they began walking back to their apartment. The entire time she could feel his eyes on her, the intent of his gaze was undeniable.

She kept her eyes on the sidewalk as they hobbled for another ten minutes until they reached their apartment complex. Gendry fished for his keys and they managed to get through the door without falling over.

“Do you think you can do stairs?”

“One way to find out!” he grinned and nearly faceplanted when he let go of her.

She grumbled and tightened her hold on him, “You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met Waters.”

“You’re a mean one.” He stuck his tongue out at her and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

Despite his inability to walk on his own, Gendry was quite adorable when he was drunk. The stone mask rubbed off and that childish persona (that she assumed he wasn’t able to display as a kid) came out to play. She could say he was quite comfortable with her in the couple of months she had knew him. It did not help that she was a little attracted to his dark hair and eyes that looked like the seas along the coast, but she was willing to internalise any feelings she had for him in sake of maintaining a healthy home environment with both him and Jon. Her brother was definitely capable of murder in justified cases. But even so, it just made her feelings even more muddled.

She helped him up the stairs slowly, being careful not to be pulled down by his great hulking weight. Once they reached the door she couldn’t stop him in time when he knocked loudly at the door, demanding Jon to open up. A very weary looking Brother of the Night’s Watch appeared at the door in his boxers.

“What the hell Gendry?” Jon muttered, rubbing sleep from his eyes, “It’s three am, what the fuck were you guys doing?”

She lugged Gendry through the door past her brother and rolled her eyes.

“He tried to drink the Narrow Sea’s equivalent in beer,” She pointed at a very drunk Gendry, “And I was with a friend.”  

‘Yeah, a ‘friend’. Cause we believe that one.” He tried to do the quote marks with his fingers but nearly slid to the floor without her support.

“I’m going to slap Sober Gendry.” She scolded him, paying no attention to Jon’s baffled look.

“Drunk Gendry gives consent.” He saluted her, and she rolled her eyes.

“Better get this one to bed before he stars word vomiting about the girl he likes.” Her brother groaned.

It was the second time that her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest. She looked up at Gendry who was staring at her in the same way he had before, his eyes dark and heavy.

“Oh, she’s gorgeous Jon, let me tell you.” Gendry started rambling, maintaining the eye contact.

_What girl?_

“Yeah you never finished telling me about her.” Jon was now grinning.

“Who?” Arya demanded.

Gendry chuckled deeply, and she felt it vibrate through where their bodies were pressed together.

“I think you know.”

“I really don’t.” she spat, a little more defensively than she would have liked.

“You’ll figure it out Stark.” He closed his eyes and smirked.

Arya could feel her cheeks turning pink with heat while Gendry returned his intense gaze back to her.

_He can’t mean… He doesn’t know what he’s talking about._

“Let’s get you to bed, stupid.” She sighed, averting her eyes.

She could not deal with that blue gaze boring right through her soul.

“Sounds like a plan, good nighty my dear friend.” he shook Jon’s hand like he was sealing a business deal.

“Gendry.” She prompted, and he chuckled, letting her drag him to his room.

She had never been in his room but as soon as she turned on the lights she saw how it reflected who he was as a person. Everything in his room was neat, his bed made and the papers, textbooks and stationary on his desk were all filed and kept. Unlike her own room, his bedside table only held a lamp, water bottle and a packet of Marlboro cigarettes with a cheap BIC lighter resting on top. Arya thought of the eight or so mugs currently littering her room and made a mental note to take them all to the kitchen later.

She helped him roll onto his bed and once he was seated into a semi upright position, she watched him fumble over his shoelaces. She grumbled and undid them for him and he gave her a sheepish smile mumbling something unintelligent while moving to get his shirt over his head. She nearly ran out the door once he magically managed to get it off and was left bare-chested. Gendry’s body was a work of the Gods. Whatever he was doing in the gym was certainly right.

 _He looks strong,_ she thought.

“You like what you see?” she heard him ask, raising a suggestive elbow.

“Oh, shut up.” She snapped.

He just chuckled, continuing to stare at her.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” she asked him suddenly.

“Am I not allowed to?”

She shrugged her shoulders and averted her gaze.

He cocked his head playfully and grinned.

“You’re drunk.” She deadpanned.

“We’ve established this.”

She rolled her eyes.

“What was that conversation with Jon back there? What will I _figure out_?” she asked, and he laughed.

“I can’t believe I have to spell it out for you.”

She ignored him and looked at the door.

“I didn’t know you liked girls.” He stated, and her head whipped up.

“So?”

“So, nothing. It’s cool y’know.”

“I like both, chill out.”

He closed his eyes and raised both eyebrows.

“Get into bed.” She ordered.

“Yes m’lady.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“As m’lady commands.” He mocked, pretending to tip his hat at her.

She got up and rolled her eyes again, walking to the door.

“Arya wait!” he called out, nearly falling out the bed.

“What?” she snapped.

He looked at her for a few moments.

“I thought you looked gorgeous tonight.”

Her breath hitched in her throat and he stared right through her soul.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And with that, she walked out the room and closed the door behind her.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was the next morning when she found out that Drunk Gendry, Sober Gendry and Hungover Gendry were three entirely different people.

She was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee when he slumped into the room looking incredibly grumpy with his hair all mussed up and dark circles protruding from under his eyes.

“Mornin’ sunshine, you look like shit.” Jon sang while cooking an egg and the smell made Arya nauseous.

Gendry flipped him off and moved to rifle through the cupboards which he then slammed violently when he couldn’t find what he was looking for.

“Aspirin is in the bathroom genius.”

“Fuck off.”

“You were hilarious last night, I almost forgot how you act when you’re drunk.” Jon continued to laugh, and she looked at Gendry who was now pillaging the fridge.

He continued to ignore her brother, moving about the kitchen with a scowl.

 “You were pretty pissed, Arya had to drag you home.” Jon told him turning his back on them both.

At that, Gendry looked up at her with a surprised expression, still managing to frown.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He ripped his eyes away and pulled out a Gatorade, storming to the bathroom.

“What´s up with you two?”

She shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

“Does he always get like that when he drinks?”

Jon raised an eyebrow.

“He doesn’t normally drink to be honest. It’s been awhile since he got that hammered.”

_“And I was here drinking myself to near death, thinking you didn’t give a shit about me.”_

Arya looked down into the brown swirls of her coffee, biting her lip. She didn’t get Gendry; one minute he was warm and smiley and other times he was grumpy and didn’t want to talk to anyone. But she had heard somewhere that a drunk man was an honest man and like her, Gendry seemed excellent at internalising his feelings.

“Sansa’s coming today.”

She nearly split over her mug in surprise.

 “I completely forgot.”

Jon laughed.

“I’m going to pick her up from the airport, you coming?”

“Sure.”

 

 

 

1979 by the Smashing Pumpkins was playing in the battered jeep Jon called a car.

Arya couldn’t say she didn’t like it; there had been some good memories in this car while she was in the last years of high school and needed help with driving lessons. Jon didn’t really like driving all that much, he had told her so much whenever they got around the city by subway which left her driving to the airport to pick up Sansa. Storm’s End was a lot like King’s Landing with its horrendous traffic and narrow streets. Winterfell was an old city, originally seating the Kings of Winter in the medieval times. The streets were wide, designed for what must have been old carts and carriages and the noise was never something that bothered their family. 

“Haven’t seen her in a while.” She commented while Jon was texting someone on his phone.

“I saw her in March in King’s Landing.” He said, not looking up.

“Who are you texting?” she questioned.

For someone so against social media, she couldn’t count the amount of times she caught him on his phone in the past month.

“Just someone.”

“Alright then.” She raised her eyebrow.

Arya didn’t know much about her brother’s love life only that he wasn’t overly interested in relationships when he was younger. But if he was anything like her, he would want whatever small progression he made with someone to stay private.

“Her name is Ygritte.” He said, putting his phone away and she smiled.

“That’s a Northern name.”

“I met her in the North.”

“Oh, did you now?”

Jon sneered at her and looked out the window.

“She’s from North of the Wall, one of Uncle Benjen’s co-workers. She’s a tough lass.”

Jon tapped his fingers on his jeans.

“What’s going on with you and Gendry?”

Her knuckles turned white, clenching on the steering wheel.

“Nothing, why do you ask?”

“I’m asking because there’s something obviously going on.”

Her heart thudded in her chest.

“Gendry’s not interested in me, if that’s what you’re saying.”

In the corner of her eye she saw Jon scrunch his face up as if he was trying not to laugh.

“Last night proves that’s not the case.”

She rolled her eyes.

“He was drunk.”

_A drunk man is an honest man._

“I was wondering what was getting him drinking and then all that talk about a mystery girl at the gym,” Jon started, and she felt her cheeks heating, “It’s you. He was talking about you. I could tell, he wouldn’t stop looking at you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She scoffed.

“It’s just strange you know,” he continued, ignoring her, “He hasn’t been interested in anyone for _years._ But now he’s into you? My goddamn sister?”

Jon didn’t look angry, just confused and she kept her eyes on the road in silence.

“Is that a bad thing?” she asked.

Jon’s approval had always been the priority before doing anything, she had worked like that since she was a child.

“Not really… You’re twenty years old. I can’t keep hovering over you like an overprotective brother,” he sighed, rubbing his temples, “He just needs to know I will sic Ghost on him and rip his balls off if he screws up.”

“You didn’t even ask if I liked him.” She told him with a scowl.

That made Jon laugh.

“Oh Arya, I don’t need to ask.”

 

 

 

 

Sansa had two bags by the time they spotted her coming out of the terminal.

Her long red hair was kept high in a pony tail and the blazer she wore sat perfectly on her shoulders. Sansa Stark had always been the epitome of perfection and Arya had always envied her for it. It didn’t help that through their childhood all they did was bicker and fight till the house started shaking from how loud they would slam their doors, but once the family started to fall apart, they had put their disagreements behind them and made up, promising to support each other. At this stage, her sister was probably as fragile as she was.

Arya rushed up and engulfed her in a hug that Sansa returned eagerly.

“I’ve missed you so much!” she squealed, and Arya smiled.

“Same here.”

Jon walked up and gave their sister hug too, one more casual because it hadn’t been so long since they had both seen each other.

“How are you?” Sansa asked.

“Fine,” Arya replied, hoping that no more questions about her wellbeing would be asked, “You got enough bags here sis?”

“Don’t be stupid, one’s for makeup and hair while the big one’s for clothes.” she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Pass your luggage Sans, I’ll put it in the back.” Jon called out.

The red-haired Stark climbed into the back of the Jeep while Arya sat in the driver’s seat watching Jon in the rear view mirror.

“How’s Storm’s End treating you?” Sansa asked cheerfully.

“It’s nice enough.”

“You seem tired, are your classes stressful?”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Arya brushed it off while Jon clambered into the car.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

She rubbed her temples and prayed for patience. She loved her sister, she really did but Gods did she get on her nerves.

“I’ve been fine, you’re our guest and we should be talking about _you.”_

That seemed to shut her up and the rest of the car trip consisted of Sansa talking of her developments of her fashion line and the extravagant show she was hosting as part of her degree.

“I don’t even know how I scored it, I’m honestly just lucky.”

Arya phased out of the chitter chatter and her mind wandered to Gendry, about what he was feeling, what he was thinking about. Was Jon right? Was he truly interested in her? Or was even her own brother misreading the signs they were all receiving. Surely, the man hadn’t drunk himself stupid over her. That couldn’t be possible.

She shook the thoughts out her head and pulled away from the curb and into the traffic.

 

 

 

Once they arrived back at the apartment, Gendry was in his room, typing furiously away at his computer with the door half open which Sansa took as an open invitation to walk right through.

He wasn’t in a better mood; his mouth set in a hard line, his hair stuck out at odd angles from running his hands through it. Arya watched from a distance while Sansa went up to hug him, and he received it rather awkwardly, plastering on one of the worst fake smiles she had ever seen. By the time Jon had pried Sansa away, she invaded Arya’s room exclaiming how horrid the mess was in her typical fashion until she plonked onto the bed exhausted and Arya closed the door leaving their brother to his own devices.

“So what’s being going on in the love department? Jon tells me you have a girl.” Arya said and her Sansa looked up at her in shock.

“Did you just ask about something to do with relationships? Who are you imposter, give my sister back!”

“Be serious or I’ll never ask again.”

She giggled and crossed her legs, looking like the happier, teenage Sansa Stark.

“Her name is Margery, she’s a model. I met her in this course I did and Gods, we clicked instantly. She’s a lovely person Arya, you’ll really like her. I had a little bit of an identity crisis when we first went out but we both sat down, and she helped me come out.”

“You’re bi?” Arya gasped.

“No, I’m lesbian… That relationship with Joffrey and then Ramsey… Gods, that wasn’t anything near love. Just infatuation with the idea of being with someone.”  

She was proud of her, so undeniably proud.

“What about you?” Sansa asked, then disregarding the shrug that Arya gave her, “What about Gendry, he seems like your type.”

“And how do you know what my type is?”

“Don’t think I’m not watching you when some guy with a beard comes on the television or your Instagram feed.” She smirked deviously.

She sighed.

“Fine, he’s good looking and Jon says he’s into me but I don’t think that’s true.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because… Because I’m… I’m me. I’m Arya Horseface. I’m not pretty, I have no tits and no ass…”

“I’m going to stop you right there because that’s stupid coming from the most badass woman I know.”

She managed a smile and looked up her bigger sister.

“You’re beautiful and if Gendry is interested, you’ll know.”

Arya looked at her with uncertainty.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

Sansa threw her head back in laughter, “Jon doesn’t know anything and yet he is sure about him being interested in you.”

“So what do I do if something happens?” She asked curiously, she had always been as dense as a rock when it came to relationships.

“Experiment, take your time and _communicate._ Don’t do what I did with you know. No one should force you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Arya looked down at her hand and conjured up an image of Gendry smiling at her in the bar.

“I think I’m going to talk to him.”

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

After dinner, she watched Gendry slip away to the porch to light up a cigarette and pull out a book.

The sight of him with a small orange penguin classic in his large hands was almost comical but the scowl that caused his furrowed brow was anything but funny. He still hadn’t talked to her, but it wasn’t like she made an outright effort to ask him what was wrong. She just assumed that the alcohol had done a number on him and she left him to his own company. She knew she had to eventually talk to him, for her own comfort as well.

While Jon and Sansa were fangirling over Queer Eye, Arya snuck out to join him on the balcony instantly relishing the way the summer air brushed her bare arms. He barely even noticed her presence as she walked up to wear he was leaning against the railing. She reached for the cigarette that was sitting idly between his fingers and he passed it to her without meeting her eyes.

_Why is he being like this?_

She took puff and watched the smoke hang in the air, Gendry still reading his book in silence. She looked at him in his six-foot glory. He was a handsome man albeit a little grumpy but even then, Arya couldn’t find the room to complain.

She took another breath and sought the courage to be the one who spoke first.

“You okay?”

He stilled and looked up from his book, still averting contact with her own. It frustrated her slightly that he was being so withdrawn but she knew it would be hypocritical to voice.

“I’m fine Arya.”

His voice was gruff and tired. She knew what that sounded like; it sounded like what lying in a bed all day looking at the ceiling felt like.

“Judging by how you refuse to even look at me, I would beg to differ.”

He did look at her then, the blue in his eyes pierced right through hers and she looked for a glint of annoyance or even anger. But the more she looked the more she realised it wasn’t there.

Still looking at her, he took the cigarette back and snuffed it on the ash tray.

“Do you hate me for what happened last night?”

She scrunched her eyes in surprise.

Hate him? How could I hate…

“I was a dick, I’m always an asshole when I drink, and I don’t normally,” he turned away from her and dug his face into his hands, “Normally I have some self-control.”

“It’s alright to get drunk sometimes, we’re only human.”

He huffed in disbelief, “When I’m drunk I say shit things.”

“We all say shit things when we’re drunk…”

“I say real things too.” He cut her off and she fell into silence watching his eyes bore into hers.

She willed herself to say something, but she was stuck frozen with her arms laying useless at her sides and Gendry looking at her like that. Luckily, he made the decision for her and moved an inch closer until he was properly in her space.

“I can’t recall everything that happened last night, but I remember enough,” he looked away again and she yearned for him to say what he felt while looking at her, “I remember looking at you in the bar and thinking you looked beautiful… And I remember you carrying my drunk arse home and putting me to bed even when I said some inconsiderate shit…”

He took another step and he was so close, close enough that she could study the fibres of cotton in his black shirt, close enough to smell his scent of diesel and something like pine.

“It’s just hard to comprehend why when someone like you waltzes into my life, everything is so much brighter.”

He didn’t need to emphasise his point, she didn’t even know the feeling, but she knew what it felt like walking through life in a darkened filter.

“It’s nice not to worry about being fucked up sometimes, that it doesn’t have to be the barrier that stops me from letting others in.” he said.

“I know.”

He sighed.

“I just wanted you to know that… That you…” he looked back at her and hesitated.

“What?” she questioned, her lids growing heavy.

He made a pained expression and swallowed before continuing.

“You make me feel like I can become better.”

It was then when he leaned in and kissed her cheek lightly, his lips a juxtaposition to what his figure felt like, hovering above hers.

“Good night Arya.”

He pulled back and picked his book up, walking around her to the sliding door before disappearing into the house, leaving her standing out in the warmth of the summer of a Storm’s End night and the lingering feeling of the touch of his lips on the flesh of her face.

Then it finally hit her.

_I can feel. I can feel this warmth. I can see the oranges and the blues in the sky and I can reach out and feel them. It’s not black and white anymore._

Her fingers trailed over where he had kissed her, and she could feel the warmth radiate. She could feel the blood pulsing in the capillaries under her skin, she could feel her heart beat, steady and strong in her chest.

 

 

 

_I can feel._

 


	4. why can't it be mine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being inactive as hell, i just realised i haven't updated my other fic since SEPTEMBER. enjoy these idiots being idiots and I hope you guys had a lovely holiday season and wonderful new year. 
> 
> chapter title: black - pearl jam (also i love you if you get my mia wallace quote i snuck into this mess)
> 
> thank you so much for the support on this fic and all the beautiful comments. 
> 
> until the next time, x

**_*August*_ **

 

 

 

It was hard sitting on the couch next to Arya and pretending he hadn’t kissed her nearly months ago.

_It was barely a kiss, get over yourself._

Fine, a kiss on the cheek but he couldn’t ignore the way his heart filled with warmth when he saw her daydreaming over her cup of coffee in the morning. If Arya was still affected by it she didn’t show it, she went back to their playful banter and platonic Wednesday nights with ease while he spent nights thinking about how the city lights had reflected in her grey irises.  

 _It’s the little things,_ he thought.

Arya Stark was _exquisite_ , more than any other girl he had ever seen and there were feelings, unorganised and semi-chaotic, feelings that she did reciprocate but probably was too confused to act upon. He himself was drowning in those very same feelings but unlike her, he knew what he wanted.

_I want to mean something to someone._

Surely that wasn’t asking too much but perhaps his heart was a few steps further than his brain. He didn’t need to fuck this up for both of them by moving too fast.

He turned to look at her who was too preoccupied with the Netflix show they were watching to feel his gaze on her. They had left the windows open and the warm air hovered through the house, Arya was wearing a tank top that showed off her lean arms and he knew that the warmth he was feeling in his cheeks wasn’t due to the weather.

“It’s too hot!” She grumbled at the television and he snorted.

“It’s barely warm,” He guffawed, and she rolled her eyes, “I bet you would melt into a big puddle if you went to King’s Landing in the middle of summer.”

“And I bet your balls would shrivel and fall off if you went to Winterfell in the dead of winter. Now that’s extreme weather.”

“I’m sorry we’re not all Northern bred like you m’lady.” He teased, and she shot him a glare that drove a shiver down his spine.

“Would you both shut up? I’m trying to watch.” Jon yelled from the armchair.

He was giving Gendry _that_ look. The kind of look a brother gave someone who was going to get murdered for being too close to his baby sister. He straightened up and turned to the movie, pretending to ignore Arya whose body was turned towards him that little bit. Jon was plenty capable of killing him, there was strength in those lithe arms even though the man avoided the gym like the plague.

“You working tomorrow night?” he heard her whisper and he was met with the swirling greys of her eyes.

He shook his head and averted his eyes before Jon had half the mind to leap off the armchair and strangle him with his bare hands.

“Wanna grab a drink?” she asked in blissful ignorance.

He took one look at his friend who was staring at him intently from the corner of his eye as if he was waiting for the answer himself.

_I am so fucked._

“Ah, I’ll have to pass. I need to catch up on study.”

Her face scrunched up like she didn’t quite believe him and turned away.

“Alright then.”

“Gendry could I talk to you? It’s about rent.” Jon asked suddenly, maintaining his murderous face.

_He can’t think Arya is that stupid, she pays rent too._

He caught a glimpse of her face and whatever softness that had been in it had completely dissipated.

“Yeah of course.”

He moved carefully off the couch and waited for Jon to follow, moving to the balcony. He could feel Arya’s gaze heavy on his back and he gulped. Once he closed the sliding door behind them, he went to the railing and leaned against it.

“So rent?” Gendry let out a nervous chuckle and his roommate gave him a scowl that rivalled his sister’s.

“What was that about?” He questioned in an ice tone.

“What? Answering her questions? I’m not the one who asked her out for a beer.”

Jon’s eyes narrowed and then he looked away.

“I can tell you two have something going on, you keep damn looking at each other. It’s so obvious, you could cut the tension with a knife.”

The air was still between them as Jon fell into another long moment of silence.

“Look, she can make her own decisions but doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it.”

Gendry stood up a little straighter and folded his arms across his chest.

“And what about us makes you uncomfortable?”

Jon gave him a threatening glare. Gendry was far taller than him, but the man had plenty of power stacked in his lean muscles.

“Oh, I don’t know maybe the fact you’re five years older than her and my roommate.” He snapped.

He shrugged his shoulders and avoided eye contact.

“I just want to know something,” Jon asked, his voice becoming quiet, dangerous even, “Why Arya? It’s been years since you even looked at a girl. All you’ve been doing is working, studying, and obsessively trying to find your mum.”

Gendry’s head snapped up at the comment, having a hard time believing that it came out of Jon’s mouth. He had half a mind to slap the living shit of him but he knew that Arya would definitely not appreciate that.

“It was you who told me to pull it together and I did. I’m sorry that I don’t have a trust fund like you, sorry that I didn’t come from a mansion with two loving parents where if anything goes wrong you can call them. Your future is secure, I’m living every day wondering if I have enough money to pay the crippling student debt we’ll both be in.”

“Robert offered you all that money for university, I don’t know why you’re complaining.”

Gendry resisted the urge of violence again. He was so close…

“I don’t want to take the money because I don’t want to associate with a man who’s trying to buy back the last twenty years. Just because that fucker and your dad are best friends doesn’t mean I can go accept someone in my life who royally screwed my entire childhood. You know why I like Arya? It’s because she doesn’t get caught up in all this bullshit because she’s so damn accepting. She makes me feel like I’m not a worthless twenty-five-year-old with a good for nothing dad and a mother in hiding.”

Jon would never understand, Jon _couldn’t_ understand what it felt like to grow up in the silence of one’s own company. He never had to wonder where he had to live next, he never knew what if felt like to not be able to call a house a home. He had a proper house full of sisters and brothers to roughhouse with.

“For fuck’s sake Gendry, be realistic. pull your head out of your arse and take the fucking money. Most people wouldn’t need to even think twice. You’d have the Baratheon name, one of the most powerful in the country. Imagine how fucking impressive that sounds. You don’t have to play daddy, son with the fat bastard, just take the money and run.”

A certain pain shot through his chest like Jon had physically impaled him. He thought about Sansa and her girlfriend; _a Tyrell._ And Bran and his boyfriend; _a Reed._ It finally hit him, _they’re from good families, notable families. Who am I? I’m a nameless man who grew up in the shadow of an absent father in Flea Bottom. I don’t even know where my mother is._

“Why can’t you understand? I’m not trying to hurt your feelings.” Jon cocked his head, his tone was pleading.

“Oh I can, trust me. You meant every word,” he snapped, feeling the anger rise, “I’m just a poor guy who doesn’t have any parents so I’m not good enough for your sister.”

“That’s not what I meant, stop being such a pathetic idiot.”

Gendry glared up at him and Jon looked at him with a dangerous glint in his eye.

“So many people have tried to hurt her that we can’t trust anyone anymore,” Jon continued, “You don’t understand what she’s been through. You never will.” 

Gendry took one look at him, one look deep into his eyes that didn’t have that certain cloudiness like Arya’s did and like his own did when he looked closely in the mirror.

“And neither will you.”

And with that, he left the balcony and walked to his room, closing the door and sliding down it feeling a weight settle in his chest, making it hard to breathe.

 _No one will ever understand you,_ he thought, looking at his packet of cigarettes.

_Maybe it’s better that way._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“That conversation wasn’t about the rent, was it?”

He looked up from his textbook to see Arya standing in the doorway.

He hadn’t come out of his bedroom for the entire day and his stubbornness had glued him to the desk, desperate to distract himself with study. She had ripped jeans and a leather jacket on, her hair an unruly brunette mess that just brushed her shoulders. She looked pretty, really pretty and she was dressed up. A certain part of him wondered if she was going on a date but he pushed the feeling down and told himself that he didn’t care. He did though. Her eyes were grey and relentless, leaving no room for him to lie. He wished to all the Gods that he swallowed his pride and agreed to get a drink with her. Now she was probably going to go out with some prick who was in one of her classes.

“No, no it wasn’t.” he sighed and closed his laptop.

She was watching him hesitantly like she was waiting for him to make the next move but he didn’t have the energy.

She walked in tentatively, closing the door behind her before going to sit on his bed. It was strange to see her there; quiet, almost nervous, fidgeting with his bed covers. He had always been pedantic about how he kept his room. Living in different houses with different families taught him that. He was minimalistic and trinkets bored him.

“Jon will never understand what it’s like to be miserable,” she whispered and he turned around in his desk chair to face her, “He broods a lot but he’s never been truly sad before. He doesn’t possess that extent of self-loathing.”

Gendry snorted and she looked up at him, grey eyes searching for something.

“Most people don’t know what it’s like to be _that_ sad.” He said, averting his gaze for a moment before returning it, “And yet then there are some people who are so submerged in it they can turn it into art.”

The corner of her lips lifted a little, “Art is versatile in that way, one can find a way to find beauty in nearly anything. It’s only a matter of perspective, beauty is a spectrum.”

“That it is.” He agreed, watching her look so alien in her own skin.

“Come and get that drink with me Gendry,” she said suddenly, her face a mosaic of unmoving features, “I need someone to talk to.”

He hung his head and shook it.

“There are better choices of a companion,” He mumbled back to her, “Maybe a friend or something.”

 “What did Jon say to you?”

He wasn’t surprised by her, she was smarter than anyone he had ever met but he knew which game she intended to play with him and he wasn’t giving in so easily.

“He didn’t say anything.”

_Stop lying._

“What did he say Gendry?”

She crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow.

 “Tell me—”

“He told me I wasn’t good enough for a Stark!” He snapped and looked up at her.

Her brows furrowed.

“Jon wouldn’t say that.”

Gendry snorted and went back to his desk, staring dumbly at his reading. In all honesty, he wished that she would just leave him alone or agree that the daughter of Eddard Stark was not a suitable match to the man who had been through the foster care system. He had never felt so worthless in his entire life.

“He of all people would never say that, especially to you.” She said, walking up to him and placing one of her small hands on his forearm.

He flinched and if the frown that lined her face was anything to go by, it had been enough for her to notice because she had removed it almost immediately.

“Do you think we live in the Middle Ages? Gendry established houses barely mean a thing anymore...”  

“Arya, I barely remember what my mother looks like. My father? He’s the best friend of _your_ father and he abandoned me for my entire life. I could barely stay in my foster homes as a kid and I ran around drinking and being an asshole for most of it. I am a nobody.” He reminded her

“So you’re forgetting the fact that you got into engineering at one of the top universities in Westeros or the fact you’ve been having steady jobs since you were thirteen and you’ve never once been fired. My parents are real people, they’ve been to the Hells and back with what happened and they care about good, honest and loving people,” she said in a low tone, her eyes narrowing, “So don’t tell me you’re a nobody when you’ve built your entire life from scrap and earned every single thing you own with your own blood, sweat and tears.”

His heart stammered in his chest at her words, the way her eyes were piercing right through hers left his knees weak and he was thankful to the Smith that he was sitting down. Even at five foot nothing, Arya Stark could make a room quiver with her presence alone. She was so electric that his limbs had turned to jelly, and his mind was rendered incompetent. She made a mess out of him and for that, he knew that she was very special to him for no other person in the world had ever made him feel so significant yet so out of control with all his bodily senses. She wielded this power so casually, so triumphantly that if his brain hadn’t been screaming at him, reminding him of what Jon had said on the porch hours before, he would have rushed to her, picked her up and kissed her senseless. 

“You don’t have to defend me.” He said dumbly and she rolled her eyes.

“This isn’t about defending you stupid, this is about having you realise that you’re more than who you think you are.”

“I think you need to leave.”

“No, don’t be like that! For fuck’s sake, don’t you dare shut me out. You’re going to torture yourself because of something you misinterpreted?” she threw her hands up, exasperated. 

“I didn’t misinterpret it, he was telling the truth. We’re not children, he meant it.”

“Oh fuck that! I’m not a kid either!”

“It's not about you, he’s my friend!” he stood up to yell down at her, eyes straining and the tension in his skull made it feel like his head was about to crack open.

“What? Because of bloody bro code?” she goaded.

“Arya…” he growled.

“But you are _my_ friend too.”

He felt his heart plunge but he masked it with a dry laugh. He didn’t want to do this her but he couldn’t let her in if her own brother wouldn’t let her stay.

“I’m not your friend.”

 Her face contorted in shock, “What do you mean you’re not my friend?”

“I’m your brother’s roommate, I’m your roommate. That’s all we are, that’s all we should be.”

She sat on his bed speechless and he turned his head away so he couldn’t see her face of utter betrayal.

“Obviously, I want to respect the relationship between your brother and myself while living here which means that continuing this little game we’re having is off the table. So leave Arya before I lose my temper.”

He looked up at her and saw her biting her lips trying to staunch the tears forming in her eyes.

 “I thought you of all people would understand what it feels like to be completely alone in this world,” she said so quietly that her voice could dissipate in the wind, “But maybe it was too bold of an assumption.”

 “Good night Arya.”

He heard her get up and move to the door, pausing before she left.

“You know what?”

He looked up, he couldn’t stop himself. She looked so utterly angry but there were tears in her eyes. He had never felt his heart sink at any other sight.

“You can get fucked.”

She slammed the door leaving him to his lonely self. He spied a Post-It note on his desk that she must have stuck to his cigarette packet that read:

_Don’t even think about it._

He reached out and scrunched the note in his fist, attempting to throw it in the bin near the door. With no surprise he missed and with a grumble, he took out his lighter and went to the window, hoisting it up and leaning against the sill.

The only warmth he felt that night was from the bad habit he had promised he would quit pressed against his lips.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

     

He went by his life day by day for a couple of weeks, only leaving his room to go to work or prepare food until he eventually crawled back into his cave and closed the door. Anyone who asked him if he was alright Gendry just shrugged off and said he had to study but ended up lying on the hardwood floorboards of his room looking up at a bland, colourless ceiling. He didn’t realise how much he missed her presence and lonely and quiet everything was when she wasn’t laughing at him or blasting her music in the living room while dancing around in her pyjamas. Arya was a master at avoiding Jon, her brother would try and start up a casual conversation like nothing was wrong and continued to talk to himself when no one answered. Gendry would only venture into the kitchen when no one was there solely for that reason (he was now adept at making a coffee quicker than any barrister could even dream of). However, this particular morning he wasn’t so fortunate.

He remembered sneaking into the kitchen one afternoon when he was sure Jon was still sleeping off a wild night with his work friends but he quickly saw a bra hanging on the door handle of the man’s room.

_Well, there goes the celibacy cult theory._

Damn.

His thoughts shot right back to Arya. She was probably at the gym this morning. He had made use of his accumulated sick days to take some time off from work and focus on studying. He was not really studying though, just looking at the textbook expecting for the knowledge to sink into his brain without doing any physical work. Jon then randomly appeared around the corner wearing nothing but a sad pair of boxers. He quickly went back to his coffee machine, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Good mornin’ to you love,” he greeted Gendry cheerfully, “Mind making two more? I’ve got a company.”

He looked up to see a red-haired girl slinking from Jon’s room in a shirt that definitely wasn’t hers.

“Ygritte this is Grumpy Pants, Grumpy Pants this is Ygritte.”

The girl gave Jon a little shove but sidled up to his side nevertheless.

“Hi, Gendry, nice to meet ya.”  

“Nice to meet you too.” He replied softly, turning his back to the coffee machine.

“See? He’s grumpy and always wearing pants,” Jon confirmed to the girl before turning back to him, “Wait actually, do you know where Arya is? I haven’t seen her in the last few days.”

Gendry slammed his cup of coffee on the bench loudly and whipped around to glare at him.

Jon looked at him with wide eyes, “Oh big bad scary Gendry Waters, what seems to be the matter?”

“Are you thick?”

And suddenly Jon was laughing. He was laughing so hard that he was sliding down onto the floor until he was wheezing harder than a steam train. Something wasn’t right, he bent down in front of his friend and peered into his eyes and as he suspected they were bloodshot.

“He’s high as balls.” Gendry groaned.

“Yeah… He smoked a lil’ this morning.” Ygritte commented, sighing herself.

“Once he starts laughing he doesn’t stop,” He said, running a hand through his already messy hair, “Let’s just get him to the couch.”

They both bent down to pick Jon from the ground where he was attempting to spin on his back and dumped him on the sofa, watching him stare at a pillow in astonishment for a couple of minutes until he curled up and closed his eyes.

“How long have you been seeing each other?” Gendry asked, trying to make the situation as normal as possible.

“A coupl’ of months, I’m from the North where it gets proper cold.”

“Uh huh,” Gendry said absentmindedly, not wanting to hear _that_ one again.

“But yeah, this is him high huh?”

“That’s Jon for you.” he agreed, catching the time in the corner of his eye.

 “So? You and his sister. That must’ve given Jon a heart attack.” The red head chuckled.

“There’s nothing going on between his sister and me.”

“Sounds like ya want something to happen though.”

Gendry looked at the door hesitantly, waiting for it to open.

“It doesn’t matter though, bastards never get the girl they want, the movies are all misleading.” He huffed, throwing another pillow at Jon.

“Arya’s the kind of lass who sounds like she prefers hard working bastards over bitch boys who live on their daddies’ credit cards. I don’t think Jon would mind that too much.”

Gendry snorted, “You’ve known him, what? Two months? I’ve been living with him for years and Arya is his favourite sister. There is no bleeding chance.”

Ygritte scowled at him and shook her head.

“That isn’t up to ya or him to decide. It’s her decision.”

The words had struck Gendry deeply like a puncture wound and he was stuck there unmoving while she moved away smirking. In perfect timing, the front door opened and Arya snuck through, her face lined with sweat and her cheeks pink. She took one look at Jon and rolled her eyes, going over to the couch and punched him in the arm.

“Did you get high again?”

Jon just giggled.

“You must be Ygritte,” Arya said with a grin to the red head, “If you ever hurt him, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Ah, the famous baby sister. I have a feelin’ you and I are gonna get on fiercely.”

“Indeed.”

 “You should tell the men in ya life to stop meddlin’ around in ya business,” the red head nodded towards Gendry and Arya whipped around to stare at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean—”

Ygritte bent down to Jon and hoisted him up, lugging him back to his room and picking her bra off the door handle with a wink leaving him in the room with her…

“What was she talking about?” Arya snapped, her eyes narrowing.

“Don’t know, but it seems like good advice.” He answered, tucking his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. 

“And what do you know about good advice?”

“Not much apparently.” He replied and she looked at him queerly.

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, returning her gaze.

“Are you still angry at me?” he asked quietly.

“Yes.”

He studied the freckles that littered her nose and that there were green flecks in her grey eyes.

“I had time to think about what I said to you… And well…” he began and nervously scratched the back of his neck.

“And well?” she raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“What I said was a mistake. All of those horrendous things like not being my friend. You are, you’re a great friend… I’m really sorry, I just…”

“What Jon said to you made you angry.” She answered for him.

“I admit it, I did take it the wrong way but if you would forgive me…”

“There’s nothing to forgive, we’re getting a drink tonight, you have no choice.” She told him, turning around and heading to her room.

He felt a grin spread across his face and in that moment the fear of his roommate simply murdering him seemed very far away.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

He arranged to meet her at a smaller bar, lest some of Jon’s friends saw them together and made a big fuss. He didn’t need that, nor did Arya who was looking a little more tired than she did when she first arrived. That’s why he chose the Brotherhood, a bar that was almost impossible to find if you hadn’t heard of it first. He got there before her making sure he kept himself and the atmosphere casual, wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that weren’t drenched in car oil. He had worked at this bar when he first moved to Storm’s End and he had learnt everything from the owners, a bunch of rough ugly men who were his guide into manhood and served the best beer on tap in the city. It could have been a mistake bringing Arya here but that was why he decided to get there before her. Surely enough, as soon as he entered the dingy hole in the wall he was met with the top knot of a certain mongrel.

“Gendry boy, good to see you.” Thoros greeted him, slapping his back.

The bar had never earned much hence why the mob also worked in the garage but the novelty of the place was too great to give up. Some described it as the last authentic relic from the ’90s.

“Doesn’t look like a boy to me anymore,” Beric said from behind the bar, handing him a beer “Long time no see son, how’ve you been”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Fine. Where’s Lemoncloak?”   

“Lem’s havin’ a smoke with Harwin in the back. God, it’s been a while, what brings you back to this shithouse?” The red priest leant against the table.

“Having a drink with a friend, she’s meant to be coming in a bit.”

“Did I just hear that Gendry fucking Waters is going to have a drink with a lady friend.” A distinct Dornish accent rang across the room.

He turned around to meet the obnoxious red hair of Anguy, whose face could only be described as something someone would love to repeatedly punch the shit out of. Despite being the worst bartender Gendry had ever met, the man had a good voice so his main gig was sitting up on the stage looking pretty and crooning for the occasional ladies, making their boyfriends increasingly frustrated and Tom had always joined in. It seemed to be Since they were teenagers, Anguy loved to goad him as much as possible and for that, it was known that Gendry shared little love for the man who wasn’t much brighter than a box of crayons. But the thing that got them into the most fights was the fact Anguy slept with nearly every girl he encountered. Most men envied the ability, Gendry was mostly downright disgusted especially when his ex-girlfriend had been on the long ‘list’ while they had still been dating. He could count the number of times on his fingers that he had punched the bastard in the nose for pressing his buttons too far.

“Fuck off.” He simply greeted and turned back to the bar before he saw the twat’s shit eating grin.

“Lady friend who?” Lem asked, walking in and upon seeing him a smile lit his face, “Oh Gendry, what in the flying fuck are you doing showing your face round here?”

“Ah just hoping to see you old men working to keep this place together. It’s looking good.”

“We’re more interested in the girl you’re bringing around boy, don’t fluff about.” Harwin joined in.

Gendry sighed and looked at the door where the sun was beginning to set.

“Arya, Jon’s sister.”

Lem clouted the back of his head.

“What in the bleeding Hells was that for?” he yelled defensively.

“Arya bloody Stark? Ned Stark’s daughter? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” The old man shouted at him.

“Seems like her alright,” Harwin snorted and when Gendry gave him a confused look he explained, “I used to work on the Stark estate in Winterfell and she was always a wild one. Robert Baratheon would be proud.”

“You guys behave,” warned Beric whilst serving a girl in a low cut shirt.

_Anguy will be all over that one._

“Play some good music and don’t embarrass me.” Gendry rolled his eyes and turned back to his beer.

To his delight, the boys put on a Pearl Jam album and he leaned back in relaxation.

_Surely. This can’t be so bad. What is there to lose?_

He waited an hour until the pub was mostly full and the music was live and loud, Anguy was passionately French kissing the microphone in a Queen rendition and already had been threatened by five hulking men who Gendry was convinced were all fighting over one chick. He stayed at the bar, sipping patiently, waiting for her and then the door opened and she walked through. It was hard to catch her attention immediately because the dumbass Dornish man was now attempting to flee the stage but once the commotion cleared up he called her name and her eyes shot to him, her lips creeping up into a smirk.

“Rowdy crowd you have here.” She greeted, dunking her jacket and bag onto the stool beside him and hauling herself up.

“Does your lady want a beer?” Thoros asked him and he saw her roll her eyes.

“ _She_ will have a beer, yes.” Arya snapped which caused Gendry to chuckle.

“I like this one.” The top knotted traitor stage whispered to Beric who was politely minding his own business.

“Arya this is Thoros the idiot, and that’s Beric who's a nice guy. I work with them at the garage.” He introduced his rag-tag friends.

“Nice to meet you guys.” She greeted and Beric the saviour pulled the idiot away.

“You’re in your element,” She observed when his friends had rightfully pissed off, “It’s nice to see you smile.”

He looked at her thoughtfully and her gaze was all challenge, staring right back up at him, “I guess I have been a miserable sod recently.”

“Why this place?” she questioned.

“I used to work here,” he replied, following her eyes as they travelled across the poster littered walls almost nostalgically, “I thought you’d like it.”

“I do like it. Plus the beer is cheap.” She raised her glass and tipped his way before taking a gulp.

“I’m paying,” he told her, taking a sip of his own, “This place is never going to change as long as these guys live.”

“I hope it never does. We all need places to escape to like this, places where Instagram doesn’t exist and everyone knows the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.”

He hummed in agreement and they fell into a comfortable silence.

_That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence._

 “Jon didn’t mean to be so insensitive,” She stated and he looked up at her in surprise, “He just doesn’t get why you wouldn’t take the money. Most people couldn’t battle that temptation but I guess you can because you have morals.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“Do as you wish.”

He sighed and lifted his glass to his lips again.

“I just can’t accept him no matter how much money he throws at me. Truly I’m just scared that I’ll get attached to a family member and then they’ll piss right off again. I can’t take those chances.”

A lively song started playing and soon the floor was rattling from the dancing.

She nodded thoughtfully, “I know that defence mechanism; acting withdrawn and running away at the slightest change. I get it, it’s scary—”

“Holy shit, Arya Stark? What in the Gods' names are you doing in Storm's End?” called a voice and Gendry was met with a boyish, skinny guy who he automatically thought was a prick.

“Edric? Wow umm… What a coincidence.” She replied awkwardly like she was not all thrilled to see him and he engulfed her in a hug.  

His only response felt his muscles become as taut as a bowstring, nearly coughing on the guy’s signature rich white guy cologne.

“So, who’s your friend?” the boy asked rather passive aggressively and Gendry felt Arya’s hand clutch around his arm.

“This is Gendry,” She said quickly, “I live with him and Jon.”

“Oh.” The boy said gawkily.

 “Uh… Gendry this Edric Dayne… we used to date well actually…. My mum forced me to go on a date with him but…”

“It was quite a clumsy affair, after a while I guess I learnt that Arya Stark is un-dateable.” He laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he quickly blurted out, aware of Arya’s death grip on his arm.

“Well, she’s not our ordinary girl is she? It’d be nice if she was a little bit feminine once in a while.”

She was probably one second from pummelling this guy’s face and Gendry could feel the violent energy radiate off her.

“What are you? A fourteen year old boy? Get out of here Ned before I serious knee your face in.” Arya growled.  

“Wait… Did I say something to offend you? Because I was just stating my—”

“You literally just said I should _be more feminine,”_ she air quoted, “Well guess what asshole, I am not obliged to change any part of myself just because you fancy something else.” She cut him off calmly and turned towards her drink.

The boy spluttered for a moment, attempting to conjure words but obviously failing in the process.

“Better piss off mate.” Gendry threatened him and Edric just nodded solemnly and shot off.

Arya was hunched over the bar with her chin in her hands. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him miserably.

“That escalated quickly.” He teased and she shrugged his offending grip off.

“Shove off.”

“Hey, I thought it was pretty cool how you remained so calm. I would have decked him, bloody dickhead.” He said and she raised her eyebrows.

“I thought he wasn’t that bad before but I guess he’s met other girls that don’t call all of his friends self-obsessed twits. They still are by the way.”

Gendry threw his head back in laughter.

“Never change Arya Stark,” he shook his head, still laughing until he saw her smiling, “If you do, I will kill you.”

They returned to silence and finished their beers, listening to Tom sing some song about lasses and loves. Thoros filled his glass again and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“I think he’s singing about you and your lady friend.”

Gendry rolled his eyes and looked at her while she watched the old man strum his ratty guitar. Edric Dayne could go to hell, there was nothing he would change about her.

“Get out of here man, go take her on a walk and give her your jacket or some shit.” Thoros whispered across the bar again and when Gendry took out his wallet the older man stopped him, “Don’t you dare son.”

He chucked and downed his glass, tapping Arya.  

“Let’s get some air.”

She nodded, followed him out onto the street and he walked her to a park where he used to hang out sometimes when he first came to Storm’s End.

“Thanks for the beer.” She struck up and he chuckled.

“You don’t need to thank me Arya, I owe you much more than one beer.”

“Well then, you need to hang out with me more on Friday nights. You look like a recently divorced man whose wife just took the fucking kids when all your engineering friends are trying to talk to you.”

“Gee thanks,” he scoffed and looked at her, “Can I be honest?”

“Sure.”

 “I hate that bar everyone goes to. I used to work there too when it was still had its 90’s charm. But then they changed everything. There’s one guy who still works there that I know and he loathes it. He gets better pay so he grins and bears it.”

“Well I’m glad someone said something. Why is the beer so overpriced and not that good? And why are there so many people? The music is god awful.”

“Looks like we found a new Friday night spot. As long as your stupid friend isn’t there.”

She snorted and they stopped to sit on a park bench.

“Hey,” he started and she looked up to him, “Are we cool? Even when I said all those stupid things.”

 She scrunched up her nose, “Of course we are, we’re friends.”

He moved an inch closer, “Good, I’m glad. I was worried for a second, I thought I pushed you away and we fell out. But we’re friends, yeah?”

 "I'll let you have it if you do that shit again." she threatened and he chuckled. 

"Yeah that was stupid of me." 

She huffed and wrapped her jacket around her shoulders. He would look like an idiot if he offered his own so he kept to himself and the comfortable silence that folded around them like velvet.

 

 

 

 


	5. everybody seems so far away from me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: look on down from the bridge - mazzy star 
> 
> arya and gendry go north, feelings start to make sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a recent wild month to be honest. 
> 
> d&d have sincerely ruined game of thrones for me but as both a book reader and a show watcher, i have seriously just eradicated my expectations for episode 6 and will continue to just believe that anything past episode 3 was a bad dream. this fic is more based on asoiaf so i'm not too worried. 
> 
> despite the development of literally every character being nuked by the 'best writers ever', i have to admit that the acting, cinematography and battles have been phenomenal and I know that most fans appreciate that at the very least. 
> 
> just because they've ruined what could have been the best show in the existence of history, doesn't mean the ending to the books won't be good because maybe you'll read a fic that is 10 times better than what is now technically canon and it'll make you feel better. other than sam & gilly, dumb and dumber have literally obliterated every single ship on the show so luckily we're all crying/screaming internally together. 
> 
>  
> 
> it took me a while to get on this chapter but i finally pushed it out. originally it was going to be two chapters but i thought you guys deserved a longer one because i made you wait since jan. hope people haven't given up on this fic as your kind comments and feedback REALLY makes my day when I read them and that just absolutely warms my heart. 
> 
> stay strong and i'll attempt to update when i am able to. 
> 
>  
> 
> lots of love, 
> 
>  
> 
> thelandofnothing x

**Arya**

 

 

 

 

She was so stupid for leaving it to the last minute.

 

When she saw the neon numbers on her alarm clock flash 3am she knew was going to have to pull an all-nighter.

 

She sat up from her desk, rubbing her eyes tiredly and heading out her room to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. She could hear Jon’s snoring as she moved out into the hallway and there was no light under Gendry’s room. She headed to the kitchen on her tiptoes, trying to reach for a glass without causing too much noise.

 

“Arya?” a voice called out from the living room and she nearly fell over.

 

She turned around to see Gendry on the couch, his face illuminated by the blue light of his laptop and a massive binder folder took up the width of the coffee table.

 

“Hey,” she said, her voice croaky from lying in bed. She bet her hair looked like a bird’s nest, “Why aren’t you asleep.”

 

“The bitch that is insomnia,” he answered, casually. He looked tired but determined. Whatever he was doing now was not study, “So why aren’t you asleep?”

 

She looked down at her clothes; a baggy t-shirt that she had stolen from Jon and a pair of cotton shorts that needed to be replaced.

 

“Twelve-page paper due tomorrow at 12,” she replied, forgetting about her water and going to sit on the couch with him, “Or… Fuck it’s already today. What are you doing?”

 

She reached to touch one of the pages in the folder and his arm shot out defensively until she looked at him and it recoiled.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled and looked down at their hands that were close enough to touch, “Looking for my mum.”

 

He withdrew his hand and ran it through his hair. She looked down at the page and saw a photocopied letter written by a looped, cursive hand. Before she continued her snooping, she looked up to him for reassurance.

 

“You can look Arya. I’ve got no problem with you looking.” He said, leaning back. He looked so tired but there was a gentle smile on his face.

 

She remembered how quickly he was to conceal his findings, but her heart softened at his words.

 

“Inner circle privileges, hey?” she teased and bumped his shoulder.

 

He snorted but she could see him smile; warm and genuine where she could see the dimples in his cheeks.

 

“Keep dreaming.”

 

It was her turn to snort, but she could feel heat rise in her cheeks. She hid it by looking down at the adjacent page of the folder; a crinkled photograph of what she assumed was Gendry as a toddler with a woman with long blonde hair who had her arms wrapped around him. She smiled and turned the page, everywhere on the artefacts she saw his scratchy writing: questions, assumption, dates. There were printouts from Google maps of possible locations, phonebook directories, profiles of family members and the occasional baby picture with a bubbly little blue-eyed boy and his mother.

 

“This is amazing,” she commented in awe, “How’re you going?”

 

He didn’t meet her eye when he responded, “I found my aunt’s contact so… I don’t know. It’s just getting the courage to talk to her that’s the problem. I don’t what to say, if I’m even allowed to contact her.”

 

She placed her hand on his forearm and his eyes shot up to hers.

 

“Do what your gut is telling you,” she told him, “Don’t be scared, this is your family.”

 

He raised an eyebrow.

 

“When you’re not bullying me, you give pretty good advice.”

 

She grabbed a pillow and threw at him, _hard._ He deflected it before it hit him and started to laugh, “Oh, now you’re asking for it!”

 

She yelped and got off the couch quickly, but Gendry managed to sock her in the back of her head with the same pillow.

 

“You’re such an asshole,” she hissed at him, shaking her head in amusement and he raised both eyebrows, his grin matching hers.

 

“Takes one to know one.”

 

She picked the pillow up and threw it at him, he moved to the side and let it fall to the ground.

 

“Go do your report Stark.” He chuckled, and she got up, mock saluting him.

 

She moved to the corridor and waited, looking back at him.

 

“I really do hope you find her.” She suddenly said, respecting the returned silence. He looked at her with wide eyes before he let out a smile.

 

“Yeah, me too,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Maybe one day you can meet her.”

 

She felt warmth spread through her chest.

 

“I’d like that.” 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was seven am when she heard Jon slam open his bedroom door, wearing a full suit and tie.

 

“And where are you going?” Arya asked from the couch watching her brother wheeling a suitcase into the kitchen.

 

He jumped and looked around until he met her eyes.

 

“I got a work placement with Stannis Baratheon’s firm at Dragonstone,” he went to the fridge and picked out the milk, drinking out of the carton, “He’s flying me over now because it’s holidays.”

 

Gendry appeared with a toothbrush hanging out his mouth and no shirt on, Arya averted her eyes instantly and went back to typing on her laptop.

 

“And who the fuck studies in the morning?” Jon judged her.

 

“She’s not studying, she’s got something due at 12.” Gendry answered for her, looking in the cupboards for cereal.

 

“So, you tell him everything but keep me out of the loop?” he accused her, and she shrugged.

 

Gendry snorted and went to the fridge to pull the milk out which was empty so he grabbed the carton and threw it at Jon’s head.

 

“What was that for asshole?”

 

“Put the fucking thing in the bin if you finish it, idiot.” He returned.

 

She looked out the window and avoided the two of them as they bickered about kitchen etiquette.

 

“So you’re not coming up North for the holidays?” she asked, stretching her arms.

 

“Nah, this was too good to miss,” Jon put his jacket on, “You still going?”

 

She deadpanned him, “You know I have to go up. Mum is forcing me.”

 

“Why don’t you bring Gendry?”

 

Gendry who was eating his cereal, choked in response.

 

“Him?” she asked, pointing at the man who had milk all over his mouth and was desperately trying to wipe it off.

 

“What if I had plans?” Gendry said, his voice rising an octave.

 

“Oh please, you never have plans,” Jon said, fixing his tie, “Plus, it’ll be a good trip, Gendry’s been before. I’m bummed I can’t make it up these holidays.”

 

“ _You,”_ she pointed at Jon, “Want _us_ to go?” she gestured between Gendry and her.

 

“Yeah, is there a problem?”

 

“I guess not,” she shrugged her shoulders, giving Gendry a startled look.

 

“Alright, my uber is here. I’ll see y’all later!” Jon gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek. However, he barely acknowledged Gendry.

 

“Come here you idiot.” The other man said and pulled the man in for a hug.

 

Jon tolerated it with the grace of a gangly thirteen-year-old and failed at trying to look nonchalant miserably

 

“What was that about?” she asked once he had left.

 

“Dunno,” Gendry was looking down at his cereal, his lips forming a solid pink line like he knew something, “I’ve got no clue.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She decided that Gendry was a wimp.

 

About half way into the train trip he had put on a jacket and a beanie, blaming the air conditioning being on. It wasn’t on, who would run the air con on in October?

 

“Jon said you’ve been North before.” She commented, unimpressed.

 

“Yeah in summer.” He winced as she rolled her eyes, toyed with a loose thread on her shirt.

 

Even though he was _so_ Southron, she found him to be an extremely easy person to talk to and by just letting him tell stories about his times with Jon or in the garage, she learnt a lot about his character. They’re similar, but that she already knows and he’s a quiet guy normally, tentative and a little bit hostile but she was beginning to query how much of that hostility she had ever experienced. Living with him for months now, they had formed quite the friendship and even more the bond much to Jon’s dismay.

 

 

When they arrive to the Winterfell train station, Gendry walked with her to Rickon’s car. Her brother looked like wilding, he was barely out of school and yet he sported a wiry red beard that resembled Robb’s in his younger years. Before she managed an introduction, Rickon nodded at Gendry in familairty and it seemed that they had been acquainted before going by the friendly handshake. The Rickon she knew was reclusive, wild and intolerable where he could barely tolerate his own family. By some grace of the Gods, Rickon gave her a hug and however bony his stick figure felt against her, she appreciated his attempt to rekindle their relationship knowing they had left on a bad note when she went to Braavos all those years ago.

 

“You’re in the back midget.” He said to her, shoving a thumb in the direction of the tight backseat of his ute which is absolutely smothered in Shaggydog’s fur. She sighed and thought at least Gendry was getting the stellar guest treatment this trip.

 

Her brother didn’t bother helping with their bags which didn’t surprise her in the least, but Gendry did, and they piled their luggage into the unoccupied seat in the back together.

 

“You good?” he asked when they were done, and she nodded

 

Rickon had already gotten into the driver’s seat, bringing a lighter up to his cigarette. If he was anything like the little brother she knew, he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about any conversation his sister would be making with a guy.  

 

“I’m fine,” she shrugged her shoulders and he cocked an eyebrow.

 

“You sure about that?”  

 

“Get in the ute Waters.” She bumped her hip against his and he gave her a smile.

 

Rickon turned out to be the absolute worst driver Arya had ever encountered. She hadn’t been home long enough to even know the boy was driving but whoever gave him his licence must have been on crack. Everything from his radio station choice to the way he braked in the most seatbelt jerking motion she had ever experienced made her think they weren’t going to survive the relatively short commute back home. Gendry had just smirked into the mirror where he knew she could see him and she had rolled her eyes, trying not to die in the back.

 

A normal twenty-minute car ride to the Winterfell Estate turned into a ten-minute high-speed escapade where Rickon surely broke half of the road rules ever created. Arya emerged from the car feeling like she had just been through the washing machine. Gendry remained unphased as he took his bag from her and walked by her side to the door. _It’s like he owns the place, bloody bastard,_ she thought with a smile but it was common knowledge that Jon and him often came up here in the holidays to work for her dad so his familiarity has hardly unjustified.

 

Suddenly a blur of grey fur shot out of the door and bounded onto Arya and she caught the wolfhound, falling back on her arse, a giggle bubbling out of her lungs.

 

“Nymie!” she cried and pressed her face against Nymeria’s fur who in turn, was trying to lick every part of her face. She managed to get off and gave her a good rub, preening her face and giving her a kiss on the top of her snout. She looked up to see Gendry watching her carefully, like he didn’t want to intrude on her reunion.

 

“Have you met her before?”

 

He snorted, “Jon told me to stay away from her because she’ll bite my face off.”

 

“Totally untrue.” she ignored him and attempted to ruffle her fluffy coat, however, Nymeria had other plans; she padded over to Gendry and sniffed his outstretched hand nervously until she nuzzled her nose into his palm. He then stroked the fur away from her face and the wolf pup closed her eyes in delight.

 

 _Traitor,_ she thought.

 

“Seems like she likes me.”

 

“She likes people I like.”

 

Gendry raised a suggestive eyebrow and she tried to ignore it by rolling her eyes.

 

Rickon kicked open the door and yelled out for anyone home, her mother appeared in the hallway with a gentle smile on her face.

 

“Ah, sweetie you’re here!” she greeted, bringing Arya into her embrace. She smelt like ginger cookies and a secret hint of brandy but otherwise, it’s the same motherly scent that made Arya feel warm right down to her toes, “Gendry! It’s lovely to see you, I didn’t know you were coming up.”

 

“Jon practically forced him last minute,” Arya rolled her eyes and ushered Gendry in who quickly gave her mother a somewhat awkward hug, “We barely got train tickets.”

 

“Let’s have a beer downstairs. I’ve got a spare controller.” Rickon gestured down to the basement stairs. Gendry stood unsure, looking at her for approval. She didn’t even know if he even liked video games but it was hard to turn Rickon down.

 

“Go on,” she whispered, “I need to talk to mum.”

 

He nodded and placed a non-offending hand on her lower back. She felt bad for him having to venture into Rickon’s mancave all by himself, but it gave her some time to be with her mother.

 

“Thank you, Catelyn, for having me.” He called out to the kitchen where her mother was milling about.

 

“Anytime dear!” 

 

He winked at her, “More fool you, I impressed your parents a long time ago.”

 

He left her standing there in the corridor like a gaping idiot. _What did that even mean…_

 

“Arya, come here and help me with dinner please.”

 

She walked silently into the kitchen and looked at the assortment of food. There’s a roast chicken in the oven and vegetables drizzled with olive oil and thyme in a tray resting on the bench. She’s missed her mother’s home cooked meals more than she thought, Jon was alright in the kitchen, but nothing beat a warm Sunday roast.

 

“I didn’t know you two were dating.” Her mother said out of the blue and Arya nearly dropped the salad bowl.

 

“Mum, we’re not dating.”

 

“Oh, sorry darling, he just looks at you longingly because you’re both _good_ friends.” Her mother responded sarcastically.

 

“Not funny. He doesn’t look at me _longingly_ ,” Arya said, getting out cups for everyone.

 

She wouldn’t ever tell her mother what Gendry had said to her in the past few months because she was almost definitely sure he liked her. There is nothing wrong with their relationship now; they were friends who made heart eyes at each other and pretended they both didn’t have equally as big boners for each other. She even remembered introducing him to Hot Pie and Lommy and both boys made a sawing motion in the air. _Talking about cutting the tension…_

 

“Please, neither of you can fool me. You both come up alone back to your parents’ house,” Catelyn teased, bumping her hip, “He’s very handsome you know?”

 

Arya groaned not because it was true but that her mother had picked up on all those ‘up in the air’ feelings so easily. She didn’t want to deny her feelings any longer, but she had to remain tentative lest he actually, by some miracle, didn’t like her back. But she had never seen a living girl walk out of his room or him ever talk to one at the bar, so inferred that maybe he did like her.

 

“I guess I like him,” she confessed, and her mother raised an eyebrow, “I just need to sort this out before I do anything… Serious.” she pointed to her head.

 

“Sometimes, having someone who cares about you to help you face those demons is the best medicine out there.”

 

She went silent and watched as her mother pottered around the kitchen. Arya didn’t agree with her mother’s comment in the slightest, it was all up to her in the end and no one could _fix_ her in that way.

 

“If he’s interested, he’ll let you know. Otherwise, he’s not worth it.”

 

She sighed and thought of her parent’s relationship, how perfect everything seemed with a huge house and _many_ crazy kids. Dr. Forell had told her that usually with the amount of chaos currently shrouding their family, parents were likely to split up, but she thought that she had never seen her parents closer.

 

“Where’s Dad?” she asked, thumbing the hole in her jumper.

 

“Should be here soon,” there’s a sound at the front door, “Speak of the devil.”

 

Arya rushed out to the hallway and jumped into her father’s arms just as he dropped his briefcase to catch her embrace.

 

“I missed you my little wolf,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, “What’s happening?”  

 

“Mother is interrogating my guest,” Arya rolled her eyes and took his briefcase for him, walking into the kitchen, “Well rather interrogating me for him.”

 

“ _Him?_ ” her father raised his eyebrows before giving her mother kiss on the cheek, “Well I wasn’t informed you were bringing someone up.”

 

“You know him, love,” her mother laughed, pulling the chicken out of the oven, “Jon has a placement these holidays so he thought it would nice for Gendry to come up with her. Isn’t that nice?”

 

Her father’s brows furrowed, and he looked distantly towards the garden for a moment whilst Arya watched him curiously.

 

“Well, Robert will be happy to hear these two are dating then.”

 

“We’re not dating Dad.” She corrected and he looked up at her in confusion.

 

“And yet, he looks at her like she hung the stars and the moon,” she heard her mother stage whisper, but her father’s peculiar look didn’t disappear. Instead, it grew more pensive.

 

 

 

When dinner was served, Gendry and her father were giving each other weird looks from across the table.

 

“This is great mum,” she exclaimed, to fill the room with some kind of noise other than their forks scratching plates, “Nothing can beat your cooking, not even Jon.”

 

“That pasta he made that time was divine,” her mother sighed, “Oh and Arya darling, Sansa wanted to come up for a couple of days to see you.”

 

“It’ll be nice to see her.”

 

 Her mother looked to her side and Arya noticed too how her father was eyeballing Gendry.

 

“Dad, could you pass the potatoes?” Rickon says.

 

Her father didn’t respond, instead, he played with his food and kept an eye on Gendry who looked up nervously from his plate.

 

Suddenly he put his cutlery down and leaned across the table, “Son, I’ve been putting a lot of effort into trying to get you reacquainted with your father… Now Robert isn’t perfect but he’s making an effort…”

 

“Dad, the fucking potatoes.” Rickon called again and Catelyn scolded him quietly.

 

“With all due respect sir, I’m not very interested in _reacquainting_ with my father.” Gendry responded and Arya felt the tension bounce off his shoulders. As discreetly as she could, she tried to reach for his hand under the table, but he brushed her fingers away, still looking at her father intensely.

 

“And why’s that Gendry?”

 

“Ned…” her mother said.

 

“Because he isn’t my father sir, he’s not like you and he doesn’t really care about me. I appreciate all the work you’re doing but I’m fine without him. I go to school, I’ve got a steady job and I have decent plans for the future.”

 

“Could someone just give me the fucking potatoes?” Rickon yelled and Catelyn tried to shush him.

 

“Well, there’s nothing I can do about that… But tell me, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

 

She watched as Gendry’s face screwed up in confusion, “Sir I—”

 

“Ned, enough!” Catelyn hissed.

 

Arya couldn’t take it for much longer, the tension and stress budding within the table was sending her over the edge and she stood up suddenly, plucking the dish of potatoes and dumping on Rickon’s running out the back door to the garden.

 

 

Her father found her a while later when the sun was beginning to set, sitting on a log overlooking the hot spring and the giant Weirwood tree.

 

Even with Nymeria curled at her feet, she cursed herself for not bringing a jacket but as if her father could read her mind, he draped a warm blanket over her shoulders and handed her a mug of something steaming. _Hot chocolate._ She smiled and blew on the hot mixture before taking a sip. Her father’s culinary skills were limited but this he could definitely handle. He grunted as he went to sit next to her on a log. _He’s getting older,_ she thought worriedly but it was definite they still had many years together and she decided to focus on that.

 

“Gendry followed you out immediately, but we managed to convince him that you needed some space… Also that he’d most likely get lost,” he told her, and she peered at him curiously, “Love, I want to apologise for the way I conducted myself at dinner, it wasn’t fair on him and it wasn’t fair on you either.”

 

“I understand, he appreciates it Dad, he knows it comes from a good place. His dad is just a touchy subject for him, he doesn’t really see the need to connect.” she reassured him, knowing her father must have felt bad for inducing her panic attack, “He works for everything he owns and it’s quite admirable.”

 

Her father chuckled and put an arm over her shoulders, “He’s quite something to you, isn’t he?”

 

She fidgeted her fingers, placing her hands in her lap.

 

_What is it like to mean something to someone?_

“After I apologised to him, I had a little talk with Gendry about something,” her father began as she leant her head on his shoulder, “About you actually, he seems to really admire you. Talks about you a bit too much for my liking… But overall, he’s a good kid Arya, always has been and he’ll treat you well.”

 

She recoiled and thought about what her mother had said earlier. _Sometimes, having someone who cares about you to help you face those demons is the best medicine out there._

“Do you see him as some saviour?” she asked in disgust, “Like he’s going to save me from my PTSD? Are you fucking kidding—”

 

“Arya darling, you know we’d never think that of you. You’re getting the help you need; we just want to help you ease into a good relationship.”

 

“Did no one bother to ask me if I actually wanted a relationship?” she snapped, and her father’s face looked taken aback.

 

“We insinuated by how you acted with each other…”

 

“Doesn’t mean anything!” she yelled, and he gave her a pained look.

 

He sighed deeply and looked to the lake instead of her.

 

“Robert was always bitter about your aunt rejecting him. I think it killed him inside a bit, always been a bad sport,” her father begun, and she stared at the same spot his eyes were lingering, “When I met Gendry for the first time, he was lost and angry. He didn’t have parents or a role model to lead him in the right direction. I did everything in my power to not let him turn into Robert. Arya, I won’t sugar coat it, but Gendry had a significant problem with alcohol for a while. But he turned his act around when he got a scholarship to university so… What I’m getting at is that although your mother and I both know you don’t believe our approval means much… If you did want to be in a relationship with him, we know you’d be very happy because he has a good heart.”

 

She smiled to herself silently, thinking of all the times Gendry had treated her with nothing but utmost respect and compassion. The times he had called her beautiful, bought her beers at the bar, cooked her dinner and eaten with her on the balcony. It was the unrelenting kindness that threw her; he had always respected her boundaries and definitely her family for she remembered how highly he had held Jon’s opinion.

 

“I’m not sure if I’m ready Dad,” she sighed and ruffled Nymeria’s fur, “But something in me knows that I can’t keep telling myself no for the sake of being different.”

 

He looked at her with a deep level of pride

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the holidays, they returned home where Arya fell back into a strict schedule to study for her upcoming exams. There seemed to be no other way to focus on her work other than non-intentionally ignoring literally everyone around her because if she gave in to her usual activities she would be sitting on the couch, watching films with Gendry instead of utilising her free time and consolidating her knowledge to get the required marks to impress both Forell and the university board. She had even gone as far as avoiding the apartment as much as possible by staying in the library till late and crashing at either Willow’s or Lommy’s places.

 

 

She returned home later that night and met Jon in the kitchen. He was wearing an apron and his hair was untied, falling to about his shoulders as he crooned into a wooden spoon to Mazzy Star. He had seemed not to notice her even as she stared at him for a solid minute.

 

“Did anyone tell you that you’re a God-awful singer?” she said, making a loud gesture to dump her bag on the bar stool.

 

Jon positively jumped three feet into the air and stuck the spoon in her direction like a sword. She had to slap a hand against her chest to stop herself from bursting out in laughter.

 

“I haven’t seen you for days you little hermit,” he softened, turning the music off, “You’ve always been a bit of a nerd.”

 

“Says the future civil engineer,” She scoffed, pulling off her jacket and draping it over the chair, “Where’s Gendry?”

 

Jon gave her _that_ look, the one with the sour lips and a single raised eyebrow.

 

“Well, we didn’t know that you were going to be here, so…” Arya looked around to see the dining table littered with textbooks and open laptops, “We were studying, Gendry and Jeyne just went to get beer.”

 

“Jeyne?” she squawked, and she sounded a lot like a parrot.

 

He raised his eyebrows confused, “Yeah, Jeyne.”

 

“Like Jeyne Heddle, Jeyne?”

 

He cocked his head to the side and scrunched his brows together.

 

“Didn’t they used to...? You know?”

 

Jon rubbed the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly.

 

“Gendry must have told you about her then. Well, she’s… She was in a lot of our classes during undergrad so we study together now. Plus, it was so long ago, they’ve both gotten over it.”

 

Gendry had definitely not told her about Jeyne.

 

“I’m friends with her sister,” she corrected, rubbing her temples. She hated how quiet her voice was becoming, “So, you guys are going to have dinner?”

 

“Yeah, you’re welcome to join us,” Jon said obliviously, “I’ve made plenty.”

 

She looked down at his pan and saw some kind of mushroom risotto. It smelt amazing but the thought of eating dinner with Gendry’s ‘ex-girlfriend’ or whatever she was made her want to hurl.

 

“No, no,” she waved her in dismissal, “I don’t want to disturb you guys, I’ll go to a friend’s place to eat.”

 

“Nonsense, you haven’t been here for days now. Just have the meal with us and then I promise I’ll let you run off to do whatever.”

 

She swallowed. There was no real way to get out of this.

 

Just as she stood there hesitating, the door opened, and Gendry and Jeyne walked through both carrying a six-pack of beer each. He was wearing a beanie and his cheeks were flushed, seeming to be engrossed in conversation with Jeyne. She didn’t feel jealous per se, but she knew the environment was making her anxious and jumpy. Jeyne Heddle was a tall blonde girl with skinny arms and legs for days. When she smiled it seemed that her blue eyes would light up too. Arya suddenly wrapped her arms around herself involuntarily as if she was her teenage self, looking up to her pretty older sister and wondering how she could be little more like her. _Horse-faced, ugly and gangly little Arya Stark._ Generally, she was perfectly fine with her body but somehow an old wound felt as though it had been picked like a scab and her vision was suffocated by the familiar, old demon.

 

Suddenly, Gendry’s eyes met hers and he let out a smile.

 

“Arya,” he said, like a prayer. She was hoping it sounded like a prayer because he had been smiling too when he was talking to Jeyne and her ego was already boosted all those months ago when she won the bet with Lommy, making him smile when it seemed impossible, “Haven’t seen you in ages.”

 

She shifted her eyes and nodded as the girl beside him stood awkwardly.

 

“Jeyne this is Jon’s sister, Arya,” Gendry introduced the girl beside him, “Arya this is Jeyne.”

 

The girl stuck out a hand to shake, something about it made it seem rigid, like a business deal, “It’s lovely to finally meet you Arya. Willow and Gendry have both been saying such lovely things about you.”

 

She gulped and forced herself to shake the offered hand, “Nice to meet you too.”

 

Gendry let the girl go past and he walked to the kitchen bench, putting the beer down and slapping Jon on the arm. He seemed happy, smiling like there wasn’t a tomorrow while also positively beaming. Everything about his aura was radiating positive and glowing energy and Arya couldn’t tell if she had ever seen him like that.

 

“You staying for dinner?” he asked her quietly, with an eyebrow raised.

 

She looked at Jon who stared at her intensely.

 

“I mean…. I—”

 

“Yeah, she’s having dinner with us,” Jon answered for her, frowning a little bit, “She’s just being difficult.”

 

She felt her heart clench with disappointment, and it would be in her character to snap back at him or insult him, but she couldn’t muster the strength to be herself or any other face. Instead, she bowed her head and went to the cutlery drawer, getting out spoons for the four of them.

 

“Actually, I’m just stressed.” She lied, slamming the drawer in an attempt to feign confidence. Truthfully, she had been on top of her lab report for days and her classes had been going exceptionally well.

 

She could feel Gendry staring at her.

 

“We understand, don’t worry about it.” Jon placed a hand on one of her shoulders, “Just come sit with us, chill out for two seconds and then you can go back to crazy study land. We get it, we were just there.”

 

_He really doesn’t get it._

Arya felt herself sweating from the tension, Jeyne was already sitting on the couch flicking through her phone and then she shifted her gaze to see Gendry looking at her with a confused but concerned face.

 

_Don’t you dare pity me._

 

“Alright, this is done. Gather ye bowls,” Jon announced.

 

She grabbed out four bowls from the cupboards and moved to the stove herself.

 

“I’ll do it, I interrupted your study night, so you guys just go choose something to watch. Gods knows that it’ll take longer to decide on a show.” she said quietly, and Jon nodded his thanks, going to sit down in the living room.

 

Gendry didn’t move though, he only got closer until she could feel his frame towering over her. She heard Jon and Jeyne talking as the TV turned on and loud noise erupted from the living room.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, and she refused to look up.

 

“Nothing, I’m tired. Just go sit down, I’ll serve up.”

 

Again, he didn’t move. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“You might wanna stop lying to me.”

 

She looked up to him then and saw how one of his eyebrows was cocked. No longer smiling, he looked tense enough that she could see a vein in his neck standing out like he was clenching his teeth. She couldn’t tell if he was though, as his lips formed a hard-straight line.

 

“Go sit down Gendry, stop fussing over me like a child. There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine.” 

 

He looked away and scoffed.

 

“Well, I tried Arya.”

 

“Tried what?” she asked, trying to act nonchalant.

 

“Tried getting you to open up.” he explained, looking frustrated, “Something’s obviously not right.”

 

“I appreciate it Gendry but seriously, don’t worry about me,” She faked a smile and bumped her hip against his, “Go sit down before this gets cold.”

 

He gave her an unconvinced look but finally obeyed, grabbing two of the bowls of food and moved to sit on the couch where he left her usual spot to his right. Instead, she sat down at the far end next to Jon who was slapping his knee like an old white man at the Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode they were watching. She could feel Gendry’s judgemental gaze bear into the side of her head, but by completely ignoring him she found it was much easier to pretend he wasn’t even there. She watched in silence and heard Jeyne say one or two things to Gendry but he didn’t seem to respond either. She concentrated on attempting to eat but it was getting harder and harder.

 

After the first episode ended, she found she couldn’t stomach the food, bringing the fork up near her mouth made her nauseous. She tapped Jon on the shoulder.

 

“I’m not feeling too well,” she confessed, and he looked at her sympathetically, “I’ll have this for lunch tomorrow. I’m going to a friend’s house to study.”

 

She kissed his cheek, not waiting for his approval and got off the couch. The living room was dark, but she could still see that Jeyne was tucked closer to Gendry than she was Jon. She passed without saying good night to either of them until she felt strong fingers wrap around her wrist. She looked up at Jon and Jeyne who were too busy laughing at the show and saw Gendry who gave her a pleading look.

 

“Let’s go to the balcony,” he whispered, “Justified emergency smoke?”

 

She shook her head, tugging her hand away and left him looking rejected, scared even.

 

“Arya…”

 

“Leave me alone.” she hissed, walking away from the darkened living room.

 

He stood up as well and followed her.

 

“What is your problem?” he demanded in a hushed voice.

 

She looked behind him and saw the two on the couch watching the show still, unaware of Gendry’s absence from the couch. Thank the Gods it was so loud.

 

“There is no problem,” she replied harshly, “What is _your_ problem?”

 

“Is it Jeyne? Is she bothering you?” his eyes went wide, “We can ask her to leave if you want.”

 

Arya felt her face heat up.

 

“Jeyne is not bothering me,” she said defensively but she could tell Gendry didn’t believe a word she said, “It’s just that…”

 

“What? Do enlighten me.” he said sarcastically.

 

“You two fucked.”

 

Gendry’s brows scrunched up. She couldn’t tell if he was shocked that she knew or angry.

 

“So what? That’s none of your business,” he hissed rudely, and she rolled her eyes, “You fucked her sister and you guys still hang out.”

 

“I didn’t fuck Willow.” she reminded him, and he rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever drunken mishap you had then, I don’t ask about it and it sure doesn’t make a difference to me when I see you hanging out,” he explained, staring down at her, “What Jeyne and I did once in the past has nothing to do with you. We’re friends, nothing more and it happened years ago.”

 

She folded her arms across her chest and looked away, refusing to cave.

 

“Well it might not matter to you, but it does to me.”

 

He looked surprised.

 

“Why?”

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

“ _Why,”_ she mocked his voice, “Why? Because I like you, that’s why, you idiot. And who knows, you probably have a different type or I’m reading you wrong, but I can’t hide what I’m feeling. I like you; you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside and I hate it, but I don’t want it to stop.” She snapped.

 

He stared at her dumbly, unmoving, hesitating. Then he looked at his feet in panic and tried to stammer out some words, but it seemed nothing was coming out.

 

_What did I think? I was completely misinterpreting it the entire time._

 

She felt her eyes start to well as he returned his gaze with nothing but a confused look on his face.

 

“Arya, I—”

 

“It’s alright, I understand. I completely understand. You probably see me as a little sister or something which is weird and yeah… I understand.” she responded quickly, lifting her chin up, attempting to be brave. He could definitely now she see she was crying but the thought of that didn’t make her feel weak. There was nothing more she _hated_ more than being rejected.

 

She picked up her bag and her jacket, turning away from him and to the door, wiping her tears off with the sleeve of her sweater.

 

“Arya, please…” he called after her, his tone was almost desperate, “Don’t leave.”

 

He followed her out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. She ran down the stairs like a child, her hair fluttering behind her as she took each flight of stairs.

 

“Real mature,” she heard him say and her heart quickened, “Let’s sit down and talk about this like adults.”

 

She hurried down the stairs to go outside and by that time, his voice became an echo and she knew he had stopped pursuing her.

 

She dug around in her bag for her phone and frantically tried to open it and bring up a contact to start typing a message.

 

Arya: _Can I come over?_

She replied almost instantly.

Willow Heddle: _yeah sure, let me know when you’re at the gate and I’ll buzz you up._

And that’s where she found herself; on the floor of Willow’s apartment with a bottle of cheap red wine sitting between them.

 

“Did something happen?”

“You never told me that Jeyne and Gendry were still close,” She responded, feeling the lump in her throat enlarge with every passing second, “She was at my place, studying with Jon and Gendry. My brother told me they all have classes together. We were eating on the couch and they seemed… Cosy.” 

 

“Gods… Cosy?” Willow responded, rubbing a hand over her face, “My sister is ever the optimist, but he’s very much not interested in her in that way.”

 

“Can I ask why you hate him so much?” Arya posed.

 

Willow cleared her throat and until she turned around to look at the girl, the air was still around them.

 

“I don’t really _hate_ him,” she started and toyed with her hair, “My sister has always been naïve with guys, she thinks that she’s going to marry each one that has a slight interest in her. You know? The innocent kind, nothing wrong with that.”

 

Arya thought of her sister.

 

“That’s why I’m so untrusting… There’s always just one person that fucks up all the rest and some people aren’t aware enough to identify that person. Gendry was that person for Jeyne; he was only looking for a fuck and she was looking for love. I should be happier with him anyway, he’s doing s miraculous effort at fixing their friendship but it was the lack of communication at the time and I know that they were both young and stupid but I can’t feel like…” Willow dragged a hand through her hair, “My sister deserves someone who is going to treat her like a princess; recognise her intelligence and her beauty. Someone who loves and will protect her. That’s all she wants and that’s all I want for her.”

 

Arya reflected on her words and brought the bottle to her lips.

 

“My sister, Sansa, she used to be like that.”

 

“Used to?”

 

“She’s changed, a lot. She used to date guys who would treat her like absolute shit because well… The same as your sister, she was obsessed with this fantasied idea of romance. It was innocent when she was a teenager but once she left school, it just made her a target for assholes. Now, she’s herself and dating a beautiful woman.”

 

Her friend raised an playful eyebrow and Arya laughed until a warm silence enveloped around them.

 

“Don’t be jealous of Jeyne,” Willow said suddenly, sitting up, “I’ve seen the way Gendry looks at you and he’s never looked at my sister like that.”

 

“I’m not jealous of her, I just feel… I don’t know,” _Incompetent,_ she had wanted to say to Gendry but thinking about it now made her realise that it wasn’t the case, “I felt foreign in my own body… It was completely surreal, almost as if I was watching everything from another dimension.”

 

“Interesting,” she said absentmindedly, “I wonder why that’s the case.”

 

“Well, I don’t feel that way when I’m with girls.” she confessed, and Willow looked at her thoughtfully.

 

“How many guys have you been with?”

 

“Does being forced to go out with one when you’re eighteen count?”

 

Willow let out a bark of laughter and shook her head frantically.

 

“I mean where you’ve reciprocated feelings or sex or kissing,” she explained.

 

Arya didn’t need to think about it.

 

“No.”

 

Willow clicked her fingers.

 

“Maybe that’s why? You’re asking the wrong person though; I have no idea about guys and feelings,” Willow joked.

 

Arya smiled at her attempt of making her laugh. It was good having a friend that looked over their awkward first encounter and worked tirelessly to develop that into a steady friendship. Heddle had shown her the reins to a lot of things in Storm’s End; artists in weird clubs, beer gardens, second-hand book shops. Places that Jon wouldn’t have a clue about.

 

Her phone, which was lying between them, begun to ring.

 

It was Gendry.

 

Willow looked over to it and looked up to her, concerned.

 

“Aren’t you going to get that?”

 

Arya shook her head and declined the call.

 

“I fucked up.”

 

“How badly?” Willow asked.

 

“I told him I liked him, and he didn’t respond. Started stuttering like an idiot.”

 

Her phone rang, and she declined the call again.

 

“Maybe he couldn’t process his feelings on the spot like that.”

 

This time Jon was calling her, and she picked up.

 

The idiot probably told her brother.

 

“Arya…” Gendry’s voice filled her ear and she quickly slammed the decline button.

 

“He used your brother’s phone to call you?” Willow asked laughing, “Persistent man.”

 

A notification sounded and she looked at the text:

 

 

Stupid Roommate: _Pick up, I’m worried about you._

She grumbled and turned her phone off.

 

“He wants to talk, maybe that’d be a good thing.” she proposed.

 

“And get humiliated by crying my eyes out in front of him, I think the fuck not.”

 

Willow gave her an unimpressed look and took a swig from the wine bottle.

 

“Well I think you should talk to him,” she said, pulling out her own phone, “I also happen to have his number, mind you.”

 

Arya felt anger course through her body, but she wasn’t sure if it was stimulated by the alcohol.

 

“You wouldn’t dare.”

 

She looked undisturbed as she typed something on her phone, presumably a text, and shook her head.

 

“I’m so sick of people dancing around each other, there’s enough angst in this world already.”

 

The sound of her message delivering pinged and Arya gave her a threatening glare.

 

“You’re a terrible friend.”

 

Willow pointed her finger at Arya, “You know what? You’re the terrible friend, and you can thank me later when you learn that this guy actually likes you and has asked about you over text when we’re out getting stupid to see if you’re okay because you’re too bigheaded to answer any of his texts.”

 

Arya went silent and stared at her in disbelief.

 

That’s why the buzz at the intercom ten minutes later didn’t sound so surprising.

 

“Why would you do this? Arya hissed at her, but Willow was already standing up dizzily, reaching over to press the button to let him through the gate. In only a minute, there was a hard knock at the door. She got off the floor and sat on the couch, watching Willow open the it and let Gendry walk tentatively through.

 

“You guys sort this shit out, I’m going to bed.” Willow announced, picking the wine bottle off the floor and going to her bedroom.

 

She left Gendry and her in the living room, staring at each other in silence until she looked away, nervously biting her lip.

 

“Does Willow have a balcony?” Gendry asked, his voice was low and controlled. He was trying to not let his anger seep out into their conversation, that much was evident.

 

She nodded and stood up, going to the sliding glass door, opening it and stepping outside where the Autumn chill brushed her bare arms. She felt Gendry follow her and slide the door close, stepping beside her. Willow’s balcony was different to theirs; it had a large concrete slab on the edge so they couldn’t sit down and enjoy the view and it was understandably smaller, causing them to stand much closer than Arya would have wanted. She hoped he would offer her a cigarette and they’d smoke in silence for a while, but she knew that they were meaning to quit, and Gendry looked like he didn’t want to remain silent.

 

“Are we going to talk about how you just ran away from me then?” he asked, and she shrugged her shoulders, not looking at him.

 

She heard him sigh and titled her head slightly to see him looking upwards with his eyes closed, his hands were balled into fists as he leant his elbows against the concrete.

 

“To clarify, I do not have feelings for Jeyne if that’s what the problem is.” he said, and she screwed up her face.

 

“That’s not what the problem is.” she replied firmly.

 

“Then what was that dramatic monologue for?” he demanded.

 

“The truth?” she offered.  

 

“Arya for fuck’s sake,” he exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “The first time I met you, I was hitting on you. Badly, but I was hitting on you. You knew that, I knew that. Cue the awkward first interaction.”

 

Suddenly, everything started to make sense.

 

“So, we both like each other.”

 

He looked at her then and nodded.

 

“Could we please stop talking about Jeyne? It’s so fucking frustrating.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

 

“Okay.” She said quietly.

 

He leant his elbows on the edge of the balcony and let out a sigh.

 

“So, what happens now?” she asked him, and he shrugged.

 

“Whatever you want really. If you want to date, I’m sure we’ll work something out, if not… Again, that’s your choice.” He responded, deadly serious.

 

“Gendry…” she started, and he looked up to her then, “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship.”

 

He gave her a calculated look, like he was analysing her words.

 

“That’s fine,” his voice rising an octave like she had physically hurt him, “That’s not for me to decide.” 

 

“It’s just that… I—” how could she possibly tell him that she had never been with a guy before. Girls sure, but Gendry was a 6-foot plus hunk of muscle, the type that she had no idea she was attracted to. But it wasn’t his physique that made her feel so strongly, it was his laugh, his empathy 

 

“I’m just not the type to date, you know?” she answered. It was partially true, she hated dating, she hated the commitment, the uncertainty. She hadn’t met anyone who was worth getting _that_ close to, “I would be the worst girlfriend a guy could ever have.”

 

“Has anyone but that Dayne boy said that to your face?” he snapped.

 

“No.” she replied, biting her bottom lip.

 

“Then it’s not true, how the fuck would you know if you’re a good girlfriend or not?” he questioned.

 

“Because I’ve never been with a guy before.” she suddenly confessed, and it felt like a weight had been taken off her chest.

 

“Oh,” he managed to say, “But that’s no big deal… We’ll… Work something out I guess.”

 

He gave her a sympathetic look when she tried, pathetically, to stifle sobs with the sleeve of her jumper. He moved over to her and slipped a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, but he didn’t invade her space, didn’t make her uncomfortable.

 

“Arya, we can go as slow as you want but I like you… I honestly think you’re amazing and intelligent and witty,” he told her, and she attempted a soft smile, “And Gods you’re beautiful.”

 

She looked at him, truly looked at him and felt electricity trail up her spine.

 

“I’m not joking, you are and if I didn’t have the self-control, I’d kiss you right now.”

 

Suddenly something in her, a slight filament in her heart where there was no adrenaline. Just a knowing, sound peace and she felt at ease.

 

“So why don’t you?” she whispered, looking at him intensely, “Kiss me, I mean.”

 

He chuckled and moved his hand to her cheek which he caressed gently, “Because I’m not an asshole and I would ask you first. Which brings me to the next question… _Can_ I kiss—”

 

She didn’t let him respond and instead, she reached up and pressed her lips against his, revelling at how soft the lips of such an imposing man felt against her mouth. He melted against her, snaking a hand around her waist to pull her flush against his torso. There was no doubt the angle caused by their height difference was awkward but nothing about it was off-putting.

 

When he pulled away, he moved to rest his forehead against hers, and she let out a sigh that had been confined to her lungs for what felt like years.

**Author's Note:**

> the pov's for this fic will be arya then gendry for 10 chapters plus an epilogue


End file.
